It’s day 427 of January and we’re all drowning in leftover Christmas chocolate, wine, cheese and sodding Brexit. Only a masochist would go on a diet in January or give up booze – wait for February guys, it’s shorter. Also, you’ll need a glass of wine for some of the fantastic telly that’s on at the moment. Here’s my 5 monthly recommends/what I’m watching so you don’t have to!
1. True Detective
What do you mean you haven’t heard of True Detective?! Do you live under a rock? The first season of TD was out of this world amazing telly – gritty, harsh and impeccably filmed. Drifting cigarette smoke, hazy deep South weather, gruesome murders. I was utterly enraptured by it all – and Matthew McConawey-hey is in it and there’s a handsome one. The second series was rubbish, don’t bother with that one, but this series has gone back to its roots. Creepy small town America, missing children, corrupt cops – and Stephen Dorff who hasn’t aged too badly it must be said. Watch!!
2. The Wire
You’ve probably all watched this one, I realise I am about 10 years behind the times but the box sets are on Sky at the moment if you haven’t. I’m not sure I like it yet – it’s interesting, the baddies are bad but they are good in parts and the goodies are bad too. Or just stupid, see again: corrupt cops, gotta love ’em! Anyway, I’m sticking with it because Idris Elba is in it and there won’t be any new Luther for ages (you did watch Luther didn’t you?!)
3. Danny Dyer’s Right Royal Family
I can’t wait to watch this one. I absolutely loved the episode of ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ with Danny D in it, as it was completely hilarious to find out that rather than coming from a very long line of cheeky/punchy Cockney wide boys, he was actually descended from royalty! This is a follow up historical slash let’s get Danny jousting in a ridiculous outfit show where Danny will tell us all about his historical lineage. Fab!
This was another Netflix binge based on a book I shall now read with relish. It’s Dan from Gossip Girl being a sociopathic stalker/perfect boyfriend to an extremely irritating and frankly oblivious girl called Beck (surname, first name being Guinevere) It’s also got Teen Murder Drama stalwart Shay Fields, who was the lovely Emily in Pretty Little Liars. Once again she has been cast as ‘Exotic And Secretly Lesbian Friend’ though she’s not as nice this time, though equally ridiculously beautiful. Anyway, this is one of those completely unbelievable but utterly entertaining shows that Netflix is brilliantly good at. The last three minutes will cause you to shout “What!!!!” promise.
5. Tidying Up With Marie Kondo
I always feel like my house is stuffed with rubbish that’s dragging me down into a hellgate of tat and old avocados, but I can’t be bothered to take it all to the charity shop (the tat not the avocados, I wouldn’t inflict those nasty slimy things on anyone and certainly not Gladys from BHF). Watching Marie Kondo is yet to inspire me out of my tidying apathy, though I wouldn’t mind folding all my tshirts up like that, if I weren’t watching so much telly. This is a great show though, it will probably make you feel better about your own small scale mess when you see how much crud these American nutters have stuffed in their wardrobes. Also, if you don’t want to put Marie Kondo in your pocket and carry her around with you like a little pet then your heart is stone. SHE IS SO CUTE. Love.