Understanding the scandal of Clemmie Hooper, Instagram influencer

Clemmie Hooper Instagram screenshot

An image from Hooper Instagram feed

* In response to this piece, several commenters have pointed out that it’s important to not let hate speech pass without comment. To be absolutely clear, BritMums abhors racism, sexism and other forms of hate speech online and believes we must speak out against those when we find them.

Earlier this month, the story of Clemmie Hooper, the popular Mother of Daughters blogger and influencer who was found to be trolling other influencers, was splashed across the news. Stories in the broadsheets, on websites, even in America, talked about this strange situation of an influencer who sought to silence criticism against her by…assuming an identity online and making comments that would undermine her critics and others. The tone of the coverage has ranged from disapproving to damning.

Let’s put aside the fact that this strategy of assuming a false identity and spreading negative comments pretty much sounds like a page from the playbook of fear-mongering political parties and governments everywhere – that is to say, a strategy that when executed well pretty much works every time.

The question for many: Why?

For many influencers, Hooper’s actions are a real head-scratcher. She had been anointed as one of the most successful influencers in the UK. Her husband Simon alongside her has become an Instagram influencer (with more than 1 million followers). She does paid campaigns with prestigious brands, has developed a jewelry line, travels the world with her family, posting gorgeous pictures of their life and more. Sure, people might be sniping at her heels. But many might have thought, ‘So what? Ignore the haters and retire to your counting house.’

For my cofounder Susanna and me, this internet storm looked suspiciously like the kind we saw when we first established BritMums more than ten years ago, back before Instagram Influencers existed and our members were quaintly called ‘mummy bloggers’ (because there were virtually no ‘daddy bloggers’).

Just like the bad old days?

Back then, it was commonplace for feuds to erupt between bloggers or blogging groups, with lots of name calling, veiled (and not so veiled) sniping and a lot of lobbying to get others in the community on your side. One aspect of this, in addition to the focus on petty grievances, was the impact that well-meaning observers had.

‘That’s horrible!’ they would pipe up in a Twitter discussion or in an online forum after hearing one side of the story, often told with a very selective set of facts. ‘No one should have to endure what you’ve endured! It’s unfair!’ They would then bring in their online friends, who would duly weigh in with outrage and opprobrium, just as the other side would. And so the small feuds would tumble downhill like giant snowballs, gathering mass and energy, everyone screaming at the other side, often about arguments they knew little about.

Because at the time BritMums was the only parent blogging network in the UK, we often knew the players…and knew that the real story was a lot more nuanced and complicated than portrayed. If these outraged observers knew all the facts, they wouldn’t have jumped into the fray and in some cases, they would have been angry at being manipulated or ashamed of the part they played.

A lot more complicated than it seems

With the Mother of Daughters story, there has been plenty of commentary to go around. No one endorses the practice of trolling. [Note: At the initial publication of this post, we were not aware of racist comments published by Mother of Daughters. We unconditionally condemn this behaviour.] A decade in the influencer and creator business has also shown us at BritMums that even without knowing more fully the facts, the situation is likely a lot more complicated than it seems and not just on a personal level.

The online climate for everyone is fraught – cacophonous, confusing, frantic. Trolling, nastiness, racism and name-calling are more prevalent and vicious now, for women in particular. More than a quarter of British women experience online abuse and threats of assault, according to research by Amnesty International. 

If you put out anything controversial these days you are almost certain to elicit comments not just about your ideas but about your lifestyle, your parenting, your looks, your race, your sexuality, your morals and your ethics. It might start with your opinion being called stupid and useless and end with a rape or death threat. (The campaigner Caroline Criado-Perez received death threats from advocating a woman should be on a pound note, surely one of the less controversial causes out there!)

How things eventually changed

Ten years ago, we watched the arguments settle down as the community of parent influencers became larger and more professionalised, and the accepted behaviours and blogging rules became more widely used. We launched an Ethical Blogging campaign in 2009, educating and advocating around tenets of transparent commercial practices and quality standards. Newcomers were more interested in creating their own brand with great content than tearing down others.

Now, the crowded world of creators and influencers has become hyper-competitive, stoked with success stories of super-influencers earning millions. At the same time, tearing down others for their ideas, identity and way of life has become not just the preserve of social misfits sitting in their basements but world leaders striding the halls of power. Nastiness has become normalized. The algorithms and inactions of social media platforms promote it all. Government and the law are slow-moving and not nimble enough to adequately respond.

Our role in online ‘scandals’

I don’t know Clemmie Hooper – although I have friends who do – and her reported counter-troll trolling strategy sounds bizarre, hurtful and extremely ill-conceived to me on a personal level. I know there is lot more to this story than I’ve read in 700-word news articles and heard in snippets from other people. There is at the heart of this story a 30something woman and a family with young children. It’s one thing to call out her remarks. It’s another thing to start name-calling.

It can feel good to display our shock and displeasure at what other people are doing and saying online. The internet allows us to weigh in any time we want. And course we should be confident about standing up and condemning behaviour that adversely affects our world and our lives.

And yet, before we all pile in to express our opinion or shout our outrage, we would do well to step back and consider how opinions and comments can sometimes simply add to the noise. There are a lot of things working against us creating the kind of online world we want.

We should strive to make our voices stand out by their intellectual rigorousness, thoughtfulness and humanity, rather than simply becoming one of the crowd, baying for blood.

Have you been following the story? How do you think we should deal with online criticism and worse?

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About Jennifer Howze

Jennifer Howze is the Creative Director and co-founder of BritMums. She blogs about family travel at Jenography.net, tweets at @JHowze and Instagrams at @JHowze. Previously, she wrote the Alpha Mummy blog at The Times and as a journalist has contributed to The Times, The Guardian, The Independent, The Wall Street Journal, Travel & Leisure, Budget Travel, CNN.com, Allure, SELF and Premiere, among others. She won The Maggie Award from the Planned Parenthood Federation of America for a health article in Seventeen magazine.


  1. 25 November 2019 / 14:00

    It’s nice to read a fair point rather than the ones that have been adding to the pollution of hate. Ten years ago was when I decided not to really engage in the blogging community simply because it felt I had to choose sides at all times. I enjoy blogging for the writing, sharing our story and celebrating others, yet i often feel like I have to step away from the social media side of it all due to the constant push for shares etc. I wish we could just encourage and celebrate each other. As for Clemmie I dont understand her reasons but no one deserves so much hate. I still follow the old saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, stay quiet”.

    • 25 November 2019 / 14:16

      Sara, thanks for commenting. It’s too bad you feel you can’t engage with the community because of negativity. There are so many supportive wonderful folks out there, eager to share all kinds of great content, lend a hand, share knowledge and more. It sounds like you are one of them. We need more voices like yours, Sara! x

  2. 25 November 2019 / 15:08

    I came to this article not knowing what to expect. I read it objectively, hoping that it wouldn’t take the turn it eventually took. What Clemmie did was wrong. It doesn’t matter if she is a mum with kids to support. It doesn’t matter if she’s sorry. It doesn’t matter if she was having a bad day, was under duress and made a poor decision. On more than one occasion she went out of her way to vilify other people. She went out of her way to make a fake account with the sole purpose of destroying someone else’s life. That’s wrong. There is no justification for it. I am appalled that anyone would take this approach. I agree with you, there are probably other things at play. We all do have more than one thing going on in our lives. But so do her victims. Yet, in this whole post there is not a single word of support for her victims. You say that it’s unfair to dogpile on Clemmie because she has kids. Surely it’s equally unfair to ignore that the victims have a life, outside of blogging as well?! It’s shocking but it’s the type of tone-deaf response we people of colour have come to expect from women who don’t share our minority. It is one thing to vilify a person of privilege. It is completely different when a person of privilege (yes, even racial privilege) uses that privilege to undermine a person of colour. I can understand why you’ve not perhaps thought about it in these terms. You’re protected by the same privilege Clemmie is. The thing that makes this much worse is that you didn’t even bother to address the victims. You didn’t even bother to say ther names. To tell them that they are supported. Instead, you wrote an op-ed defending the derogatory actions of a white privileged woman. Again, I’m not surprised. This is just another day in the life of a woman of colour. When you’re a woman of colour even when you’re the victim, you’re not truly the victim.

    • 26 November 2019 / 12:55

      Hi Anyo, Thank you for taking the time to comment. You’re right in that this post didn’t dig into the list of posts Hooper made and those she targeted. There are a lot of stories out there that have featured some of the specific messages. The goal of this piece was to pull back the camera on the dynamic of social media interaction, how it has changed — and not changed — over time and also put it in context of a whole wider set of factors. Often we seem to accept that the ways people act online is human nature when in fact our discourse is constantly filtered, funneled and algorithmed.

      While the focus was not on people she specifically targeted, that certainly doesn’t minimise or seek to downplay the effects of her posts on those people, the wider discourse or the treatment of people of colour online.

      • Mia
        20 January 2020 / 02:58

        And yet, you focus on the perpetrator- a white, educated, middle-class woman, instead of the black woman she harmed ( who by the way had her insta closed down for a a day or two when reporting this). Women like Clemmie will mostly end up fine, her whiteness and her middle-class status will protect her, along with swathes of others like her, who always fail to grasp the significance of the imbalance at play here.

  3. 25 November 2019 / 15:42

    I used to follow Clemmie, although don’t know her personally. I don’t understand how she thought she could stamp out the trolling by trolling others. Two wrongs don’t make a right. She knew how much it could hurt, but still did it to others. Hate doesn’t drive out hate and really she’s just made things worse for herself.

    That said, I agree with you, that people continuing to say vile things about her, is only going to add to the problem. There are innocent children to consider, before they get hurt by it.

    I am very glad that I joined Britmums when it was a wonderful community, with very little drama and everyone was only too keen to help each other (without charging for that advice too – I might add!). I love and miss the blogging community as it was 7 years ago – pre-instagram. It’s not the same anymore.

  4. 25 November 2019 / 16:04

    Thank you Jen! This is exactly what I tried to say in my own blog part about it. None of this is new, but it is even more important to ask ourselves if our own voice adds anything, or just fuels the hate.

    • 26 November 2019 / 12:33

      Hi Helen, I’ll have to check out your post. I obviously agree — there is enough to take issue with about this scandal on the facts alone.

  5. 25 November 2019 / 16:29

    Great post, Jen. I agree that much of the media coverage and endless speculation on social media only amounts to so much sound and fury. I feel especially sorry for her kids, as well as her extended family. Still, I respect the rights of those who were affected by her trolling (and its fallout) to tell their stories, however they chose to. Or to stay silent, if they preferred not to air their linen in public. Apart from the bullying, which should never be tolerated, I’m glad she was called out on the casual racism she spouted and that very little of the mainstream press picked up on. Sometimes these things need to come to light, no matter how hard, in order to open up wider conversations about how we treat each other. We can do so much better, not just as an online community but as a society.

    • 26 November 2019 / 12:03

      Uju, yes excellent points. Bullying, casual (or overt!) racism absolutely should be called out. I think thoughtful response goes to both ends of the spectrum: being specific and vocal about unacceptable & offensive behaviour and moderating and modulating our responses when people simply disagree with us (about, say, who is on a bank note).

      Thanks for taking the time to add your thoughtful responses here. x

  6. 25 November 2019 / 16:31

    Her having young children is not an excuse to be a racist or a bully. I seem to manage just fine.

    • 26 November 2019 / 12:07

      Hi Ren, yes, I agree. Being a parent or a woman or a person from any other demographic should excerpt someone from acceptable behaviour online in what they say, feature and show. Likewise we should not excoriate people simply because we don’t like their parenting choices or how they feature their children in content.

  7. Elizabeth
    25 November 2019 / 22:33

    There’s so much of this that you’ve missed and failed to mention. This isn’t a casual disagreement or difference of opinions. This is a privileged white woman being racist and attacking a black blogger, and then having the gall to interview the black blogger on her podcast to discuss how black mothers are 5 times more likely to die in childbirth. This woman is not only a healthcare professional but a midwife, and she has been found to be spreading racist remarks. She knew how damaging her comments would be and still, she shared them on a public forum, and worse as failed to adequately take responsibility for her actions.

    The ‘scandal’ as you put it is not just a few bad words, this is about women’s lives been put at risk due to the institutional racism that exists in our society. Clemmie literally confirmed it by sharing those views thinking she was anonymous.

    Your last sentence in this post is insulting to all of those victims of racism and online bullying. You have essentially centred the feelings of the bully here. The reason this entire story has been so far-reaching is that it is serious. And yet you are attempting to frame it as a petty disagreement. I would urge you to reconsider your stance on this, as thousands of families are being damaged by this exact behaviour.

    • 26 November 2019 / 12:27

      Hi Elizabeth, Thanks for taking the time to comment. This post was about putting this scandal in a wider context — it’s not an apology for Hooper or about ‘understanding’ her actions. I’m sorry if it read that way.

      I think my call at the end of the post, to have our opinions and voices stand out with their ‘intellectual rigorousness, thoughtfulness and humanity’, is exactly about focussing on the issues, opinions and impact of what others say online — rather than calling names or making ad hominem attacks. If we’re to create the kind of internet and world we want, we need to provide a path to enlightened, evolved discussion about all kinds of complex issues. That sentiment in no way requires us to soft-pedal our response to racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, Islama-phobia or any other prejudices, discrimination and hostility.