Newbie Tuesday Roundup: A note about fame

So BritMumsLive is done and dusted for another year. The nerves, outfits, and excited hugs are packed away, and the roundup posts are written. It is over. But, it is not forgotten. Every year I see bloggers change after the biggest parent blogger conference in the UK, and this year is no exception. Whether it’s a new angle, a new design, or even a new name, BritMumsLive often seems to be the catalyst many of us need to fundamentally change something about our blogging lives.

For me, not surprisingly given my panel topic – Women’s Voices in the Media – the conference catapulted me home to my laptop to write about my view of feminism. It’s currently my most commented-on post (unless you count the time I gave away a wooden fire-engine!), which tells me that a lot of you want your voices heard on the topic, and are hugely supportive of other women’s rights to have their own say.

And in the spirit of women supporting each other, I’d like to dwell momentarily on what little I know about fame. We all start our blogs craving a little piece of the internet. We want to be read, gain followers, and be nominated for awards. After some time, if we work hard, have a skill, and are lucky, we may get, if not fame, a little bit of profile.

And that’s where it all gets a bit difficult. You no longer have the time at real-life meetups to talk to absolutely everyone you know online. You are torn between spending time with friends, and making sure you haven’t offended anyone. And then people tweet to say they were too scared to approach you. But you are still you; a little bit of success doesn’t turn you into someone arrogant who doesn’t care. If anything you care more, because you know what people must be thinking of you – you thought it about someone too, when you were a newbie blogger.

There were several posts last week about this, from both sides of the penny, and I want to have a small say about fame. Because one of my new blog recommendations this month is more than a bit famous. Scarlett Curtis‘s strapline is cooking crafting living reading coping. At the top of her blog right now is a gorgeous recipe for Peanut Butter Banoffee Pie, but that’s not what interested me most this week. No, I wanted to read about Scarlett’s week in Cornwall, and more importantly about why she needed that break so much. It’s an anecdote that a lot of you will relate to, and it tells me the story of a girl who is very real. Should it matter that she is the daughter of Richard Curtis and Emma Freud? Does that make the story any less readable? Scarlett less deserving of having her voice heard? No, of course it doesn’t. She is a new blogger, and a real person, with feelings just like you and I. We’d do well to remember that behind every blog persona, every person with profile, and every TV star, there’s a real person hoping she’s doing it right. Go and give Scarlett your ear – it’s a beautiful blog.

Brummymummyof2 is a blog I’ve been reading on and off since Christmas, and she is telling it like it is this week with a ‘sod the stats‘ kind of post.  I love her. I love her attitude to it all, because actually she’s one hundred per cent right:

Touching another parent and making them feel not alone? Equally brilliant!

There may be better writers than me, there are definitely better photographers than me, and I’m damn sure you can all make a loo roll butterfly better than me. At the end of the day we are all women writing about our lives, telling our stories, connecting with other parents, and hopefully making a positive difference to another person while we do it. I salute you Em!

We made a difference to so many women, if what I have read in the post-BritMumsLive posts is anything to go by. To women like The Live We Are Not Supposed to Talk About, who is raising her voice for women who suffer abuse at home, who don’t know whether they can leave or not, who start again.

Parent bloggers use their spaces for so many different reasons, and all of them are relevant. I gained a sense of self-purpose last month after I wrote about asthma. Because the several people who shared their stories with me made me see that I am not alone in worrying about my child, and that I can use my blog to start to support the asthma charities in the UK. MummyShire was kind enough to write the story of her own boy’s asthma, and add her voice to the campaign at Asthma UK. Another moving story that has made a difference, in it’s own way.

Modern Mothercraft has a take on feminism in a recent post about the different marketing approaches of toy manufacturers to boys and girls. This fascinating blog applies a 1945 parenting handbook to today’s parenting lifestyle and analyses what’s changed in the intervening years – now that’s an interesting take on a parenting blog!

I’m going to say it again, for anyone who wasn’t at the panel I mentioned above: you all – every single one of you who has ever put thought to keyboard on your own blog – have a voice. Whether you use it to support other women, to campaign on behalf of children, or to simply make your family laugh, your voice means something to someone. Be careful how you use it, and it will shine through.

About Helen Wills

Helen Wills is a mum of 2 children in primary school and blogs at Actually Mummy on parenting issues, school, travel, and life according to the kids. Since starting her blog in 2011, Helen has won 2 national awards, and puts a lot of her success down to the amazing online community of bloggers at BritMums. As her children grow older, her writing is increasingly influenced by their opinions, and her blog reflects this drive to get the most out of family life. Helen works from home in copywriting and social media. She is on Twitter @actuallymummy.

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