Newbie Tuesday: On being a parent

On being a parent.

The journey of a parent is an eventful one. If you’re lucky it starts with a small blue line (if you’re not, it can start much earlier in various angst-inducing ways), but for all of us it is a journey. Of course, the first thing you have to do when you find out you’re going to be a parent is start a blog. Well, not really, but we’d all appreciate you doing so! So first up today is an expectant Dad – Hype Dad – who tells his unborn child what he can expect on arrival – it’s a lovely read guaranteed to get the goosebumps going!

Coping with the first year.

If you’re reading this during the lunchtime nap (or indeed during the 2am feed!) you’ll appreciate the next post from Sweet Colourful Chaos. Easy to read one-handed, I guarantee you’ll feel better for knowing that anything you berate yourself for is completely acceptable in the first year of parenthood!

The TV schedule changes.

Once your darlings have figured out the basics, they will start wanting to watch television, and then your life will really change. No more Silent Witness. Downton is on too late to stay up for, and don’t give me that Sky + Tivo rubbish. You’ll be watching In the Night Garden and Peppa Pig on a loop. And you’ll be glad to do it for the sake of a quiet cup of tea. It’s fine, you can just join The (Mal)contented Mother in wondering what the Haahoos are…

Giving them the best start.

Thanks to Carolin for flagging up Urban Mumble to me. If you’ve managed to get through the first year with your sanity intact, you’ll be thinking about how to maximize your child’s outcomes in life. Well here’s the secret to making sure your child has a high IQ: it’s not rocket science, it does take some effort, and you’ll probably gain intelligence yourself too, if the research is correct. And even if it doesn’t work, it’s way more fun than sitting on the sofa all weekend!

Getting them to behave.

A Cornish Mum is asking “Are you a salad cream parent?” The title baffled me, but as I read the post it dawned on me what she meant, and I realised that I am. I am most definitely salad cream when it comes to my kids and their attitude to the rules of the house. And for proof, I can tell you that after this morning’s eleventh hour school-run disagreement, no amount of hysterics from my daughter will see her phone being returned to her before Tuesday evening. Ahem.

Sending them into the world.

Once you’ve taken care of the basics, you’ll move on to all the hopes and dreams you have for your children. As the mother of a child whose life isn’t turning out exactly as I’d imagined, I would counsel you to live in the moment, to watch and support your offspring, and see who they turn out to be, because that’s what I’ve realised is the biggest joy of parenting. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have values that you’d like your child to be aware of, and I love this set of guidelines for life from Muddlethroughmama. She has it pretty much nailed and my new mantra for the kids is her final point: life is hard, but misery is optional.

Teaching them who to believe.

Finally, teach your children to have a healthy disrespect for the media. The big news last month was that The Sun decided not to publish photos of topless models any more. And then changed their minds. Or perhaps didn’t change their minds, and just chuckled smugly to themselves for two days about how clever they were, before putting women back in their places. Rachel wrote a very good post about how they actually may well have shot themselves in the foot though: like her, I was a bit bland about the whole No More Page 3 thing. But their deliberate taunting and belittling tactics now have me riled. If I was in any doubt before, I’m in none now: editors at The Sun are bullies, and they’re a little bit stupid too. Bring it on…