Adoption & Fostering: Anger, defiance, memories and school

adoptionroundup1This month’s round-up sees a wide range of posts from all the fantastic bloggers in the adoption and fostering community. Adoption and fostering requires parenting with some additional challenges that account for a child’s experience of the world prior to stability and a loving home.  For most of our bloggers, writing is kind of therapeutic – not only does it help with coping to get stuff down in black and white but it can provide a network of support that brings together parents facing the same challenges.

Starting this week is a post from Sally Donovan (who has a book coming out next month!! Watch this space for more info, it will undoubtedly be fabulous like much of Sally’s blog) who has written a post about a PSHE lesson which tapped into trauma. As you will see from Sally’s post, her son was brave enough to be honest about how he felt about the lesson and you can see the impact on him of this. Adopted children need understanding from their teachers and peers and schools need to be on board with how they feel and actually, be one step ahead thinking of how certain subjects should (and should not!) be handled. Also on the school’s theme is Vicki from The Boy’s Behaviour who has been feeling the strain of late – hope things have improved now. Read her ‘up against a firing squad’ post on her adoption/school experiences.

Fiona Ferguson has cast more pearls of wisdom with her blog ‘Surviving 15 years of adoption’ and I always find her blog insightful and learn a lot from her. This month she has written about depression and adoptive parenting, shedding light on the little known post-adoption depression which can affect many, for Mental Health Awareness Week.

Sarah from The Puffin Diaries has a post about coping with anger in the adopted child. My own children were exceedingly angry when they came to us and still we see episodes of rage.  Anger is an expression of underlying emotions and coping with this can be hard for any parent. Claire from The Family of Five has blogged briefly on the same theme – sometimes displays of anger are welcome insights.

Scottish Mum has posted A Trip Down Memory Lane complete with photos. It’s a heart-warming post and so nice to see! Memories are precious for so many reasons.

Adopt and Keep Calm has posted some thoughts on support. Support is a bit of a buzz word and a taboo word I find. On one hand you need it, you are entitled to it and its key to success…..on the other it’s a bit like finding a needle in a haystack and asking for help finding it can be particularly fruitless.  Suddenly Mummy has posted some thoughts on PAS too – on the type of support that is available and in particular a course she attended.  Disappointing to say the least.

Blue Sky fostering ‘The Secret Foster Carer’ has posted some thoughts on a question that I am sure a lot of us get asked. Not just ‘Why did you foster?’ but ‘Why don’t you foster?’ and she/he has a fair point! I’d also like to include BAAF’s blog here which is a really good resource for finding out about all different aspects to adoption and fostering.  On the fostering theme still, Life with Katie (Gem) has some news which is very exciting and has met the foster carer of the soon to be new addition! Check it out here I’d also like to welcome a new blogger, The Last Mother with her insightful posts on what it is like to be that person, something I am sure we can all relate to.

You may have heard me talk previously about #WASO or the Weekly Adoption Shout Out as brought to us by The Puffin Diaries and The Boy’s Behaviour. Well there seems to be more wonderful work from these two ladies who are now launching The Adoption Social – a website dedicated to bringing together adoption resources and blogs and developing  the community further. They have just released a press…um.. release(!) so check it out here:

Its been a busy month in the blogosphere as you can see with a diverse range of topics covered but to end, I’m going to finish with an image posted by Claire from The Family of Five….it really does say all that needs to be said.

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About Maryam Lane

My own blog can be found at and I am on Twitter @MaryamLane where I have been delighted to find a small but tight adoption and fostering community who like me, love to chat.

If you have something that you would like to say about adoption, fostering, social work or any related area, please let me know and I will do my very best to include you in the round-up. Likewise if you spot a great post by a fellow blogger who really deserves a bit of a shout-out, please get in touch. I’ll be keeping out an eye each month for those in the blogosphere involved in adoption/fostering but if I miss anything you can contact me at [email protected] , via Twitter or my blog

1 Comment

  1. 31 May 2013 / 00:00

    I almost never comment, but after reading a few of the comments on Adoption & Fostering:
    Anger, Defiance, Memories and School – BritMums. I actually do have a couple of questions for you
    if it’s okay. Is it just me or does it give the impression like a few of these comments appear like they are left by brain dead individuals? 😛 And, if you are writing at other online sites, I’d like to keep up with anything
    new you have to post. Would you list of all of all your public pages like your
    Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?