George Galloway and Todd Akin both made controversial remarks about rape
Years ago, when I was at university, I was set up with a friend of a friend on a double date with a nice guy. We hit it off in a mild way, the kind that at the end you think, “I definitely hope he calls me for my ego’s sake, although I’m not sure another date would be great fun. A few days later, discussing it my friend, she said during a conversation about her group of friends, “He’s really a nice guy, not a rapist.”
Huh?
It turned out that he had been accused of rape but another person within that circle of friends. This was during that period when “date rape” first crept into parlance and there was lots of debate about the definition of rape and “what if the woman changes her mind” or “what if she passes out in the middle” (which says a lot about some segments of the dating culture at my unversity). My friend was sure the guy I had been set up with was not a rapist because of circumstances she rattled off: they were in the next room and heard nothing, the two had slept in the same bed, etc.
Since then, I thought discourse about rape had moved on. It’s been a long time since anyone questioned whether rape by someone known to the victim can be “real”. Yet here we are with politicians and public figures making statements that even during my university days would have been suspect if not complete nonsense. You don’t need a black eye for it to be rape. You can have had sex with the person before and still be raped.
Hadley Freeman has a column in the Guardian this week that sums up the idiocy that was U.S. Republican Todd Akin’s comments about women’s bodies protecting them against conception after “legitimate rape”. (One assumes the person who decides that legitimacy is…well, Akin himself.)
The term Akin was groping for was not the contradictory “legitimate rape” but the tautological “forcible rape”, the term employed in HR3, the No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act, which Akin co-sponsored, to refer to rapes that involve the woman being violently assaulted, as those are the only rapes that count, apparently. So if you’re drugged and don’t put up a fight resulting in you getting a black eye or something similar, good news! Your rape didn’t count. Bad news! You won’t get help paying for an abortion – not that you’ll need one, mind, because pregnancies through rape don’t happen, of course.
Dina Rickman in the Huffington Post UK examines what the recent statements reveal about attitudes toward rape and its victims in the UK. I urge you to read it.
Tanya Gold has pointed out that in live comedy, rape is considered funny.
Yeah, hilarious.
And amidst all this, there is the terrible news that a young boy was raped in a shopping centre – a story that would remove any discussion of “implied consent” or “ha ha” from these offensive statements.
Rape is a crime and comes in many permutations. It’s time we started taking the crime seriously instead of immediately doubting and wondering if it “qualifies”.
When considering the charges of rape, it’s time to stop accepting circumstances such as whether the accused makes movies we enjoy or websites we think are valuable.
Some of this generation’s politicians and public figures still have a way to go in their thinking. Let’s make sure the next generation’s are both more informed and more enlightened.
One does wonder how all these ill-informed men have risen to such high-profile positions.
About Jennifer Howze
Jennifer Howze is the Creative Director and co-founder of BritMums. She blogs about family travel at Jenography.net, tweets at @JHowze and Instagrams at @JHowze. Previously, she wrote the Alpha Mummy blog at The Times and as a journalist has contributed to The Times, The Guardian, The Independent, The Wall Street Journal, Travel & Leisure, Budget Travel, CNN.com, Allure, SELF and Premiere, among others. She won The Maggie Award from the Planned Parenthood Federation of America for a health article in Seventeen magazine.
Kate On Thin Ice
Thursday 23rd of August 2012
Well done on raising this on here Jen. When I was at university, a woman came to speak who said the fact rape is classed as a sex crime rather than a crime of violence does women on favours at all. Then there are the horrors learned as part of my criminal law studies about all the assaults that do not count as rape due to the weapon involved. I am going to follow up on some of the reading you suggest.
Babes about Town
Thursday 23rd of August 2012
Great piece, Jen. I'm saddened but not surprised at all by Akin's comments as he's really just speaking for a scary portion of the GOP in terms of their attitudes to women's rights and women's bodies. I've not even caught up with whatever Galloway was banging on about now.
I'm glad that this has opened up discussion again but wonder like you how much difference it will really make. In this day and age some of the general public's opinions and understanding of rape and how it impacts individuals, families and communities is really staggering.
I'm signing up to Eve Ensler's One Billion Rising movement and hoping that maybe with enough vocal power behind us worldwide we might make a difference.
Jennifer Howze
Thursday 23rd of August 2012
Hi Uju, thanks for the tip re: One Billion Rising. Here's the website where folks can learn more: http://onebillionrising.org/
As Eve Ensler, the woman behind the vastly popular Vagina Monologues, says:
"Why don't you spend your time ending rape rather than redefining it?"
Ursula
Thursday 23rd of August 2012
http://sula1968.wordpress.com/2012/05/28/life-isnt-star-wars/
Claire
Thursday 23rd of August 2012
I used to work as a journalist and part of my job was speaking to rape victims and writing up their real-life stories for publication. I will never meet such amazing people as I did in the year I did that job. The strength and determination they showed amazes me to this day. Rape and sexual assault destroys lives and those men and women that live with it deserve to get justice and peace.
Jennifer Howze
Thursday 23rd of August 2012
Claire, that sounds like a very intense stint as a journalist. I can just imagine the pain you were confronted with, but also the determination to not allow a crime committed against you to define you.
Kylie @kykaree
Thursday 23rd of August 2012
When I was at University I became a Christian. In one of our extremely mainstream Bible studies about women and women's issues there was a section about termination of pregnancy. Basically through a series of questions and carefully selected (and twisted) bible verses it led the reader to the conclusion that God wants us to keep our babies whether they are the product of rape or marriage, its the same.
My falling out with Christianity as taught by men started there.
I think you'll find amongst the religious right from Australia to the US that belief is more widespread than you think, that women should be expected to carry babies that are the product of rape.
I am very glad Akin has made these comments, because its brought this issue out into the light. We NEED to talk about rape. We NEED our sons to know that sex without consent is rape, whether its a stranger in a dark alley, a girlfriend, a drunken one night stand whatever. We NEED our daughters to know that rape is never acceptable.
In my opinion changing the communities attitudes to rape means talking about self, safety and respect from an early age.
Jennifer Howze
Thursday 23rd of August 2012
Kylie, you are so right. We'll change attitudes toward rape and its victims when both young men and women say vociferously at the first hint of pressure, coercion or violence, "That's not right - stop it!"
I have male friends who - when walking at night and finding themselves behind a woman, will cross the street or make lots of innocuous noise or slow their stride or otherwise convey that they're not trying to sneak up or threaten her. There are a lot of men who think that way already, but obviously we need more.
I agree too that it's unsettling the way certain segments of organised religion have glommed on to anti-choice tenets and ignored the rights of women (although some have been doing that for centuries...). It may sound naive but surely religion should be about compassion, understanding and respect for all its members.