Summertime Parody

woman and man angry driving in car

Given the current pandemic, a lot more of us are opting to load our cars to the max and head off on a road trip for a holiday in the UK this year.

But the trouble is, you need a car full of stuff just to survive a road trip with kids, let alone the stuff you need for the actual holiday!

I re-wrote the classic hit Summertime by Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince as an ode to a road trip with kids. Apologies to Will and Jeff in advance!

Summertime Parody

 

Summer Summer Summertime

Can you sit back and be quiet?

 

The car’s all packed and so is the roof box,

Front door’s been checked to see if it’s been locked.

Kid are buckled in and we’re ready to vacation,

Sat nav tells us four hours ’till our destination.

We begin our journey and the kids are just fine,

Mummy’s looking forward to her first sip of wine.

But things are about to get shit,

Ten miles in and the traffic jam hits us.

It appears we are not the only fools,

who have decided it’s time to down tools.

So many cars full of kids, luggage and beach balls,

The whole world and their dog are heading for Cornwall.

 

Summer Summer Summertime

Can you sit back and be quiet?

Summer Summer Summertime

Can you sit back and be quiet?

 

The kids are bored and they’re making a fuss,

Time to bribe them with sweeties, “Now please hush”.

The kids are having none of this,

They’re making it clear that they are real pissed.

Dad’s temper is frayed, and mine even more so,

“We’re on holiday, don’t be so ungrateful”.

Driving around there’s still two hours to go,

“No we’re not nearly there, not even close.”

“No I don’t know why the roads are so busy,

These non stop questions are making me dizzy”.

“Guys please chill and play on the Game Boy,

And no, I’m sorry, but I didn’t pack that toy”.

I turn around to see what’s making you moan,

It’s like this car is a natural torture zone.

Stop looking at your brother, it’s making him shout,

If this carries on much longer I’m jumping out.

 

Summer Summer Summertime

Can you sit back and be quiet?

Summer Summer Summertime

Can you sit back and be quiet?

 

An hour to go and the kids are both crying,

The DVD player’s battery is dying.

We’ve run out of snacks and the car is a mess,

Mummy’s had a meltdown ’cause she’s trying her best.

We can’t follow through with all the threats that we’ve issued,

Like “We’re going home if you don’t change your attitude”.

We’ve used all of the parenting tactics,

Like games, bribes, pleads, threats and silly antics. 

Sitting with my husband we reminisce,

About the days without kids and easy road trips.

And as I sit back I wonder how,

We’ll ever make a trip again without falling out.

My ass is numb and I’ve had enough,

The toddlers face is orange from eating cheese puffs.

Now there’s five miles to go and the stress is slipping away.

We’ve made it, we’re finally here,

I shed a tear and both the kids cheer.

I get out of the car looking somewhat dishevelled,

But we’ve all survived, it’s really a miracle.

I try not to think about seven days time,

When back into the car we’ll all climb.

Now’s the time to open that wine,

it might be warm but I don’t mind.

I raise my glass and say “Thank God that’s over”.

There’s an air of love and of happiness,

And this is a Mamas definition of road trip madness.

 

Summer Summer Summertime

Can you sit back and be quiet?

Summer Summer Summertime

Can you sit back and be quiet?

 

Good luck if you are heading off on a road trip with the kids!

 

 

Funny summer holiday posts

Here are some other funny Summer posts you can read to make the journey go a bit faster…

 

Whinge, Whinge, Wine – 10 Rules of Summer for Pre-schoolers

Twins, Tantrums & Cold Coffee – A Stay at home mums love hate relationship with the Summer holidays

So Happy In Town – Mrs SHIT’s tips for a top Summer

Brummy Mummy of 2 – The Mother’s alternative guide to Summer body maintenance

Pass The Wine Please – Why Summer can do one

Tales From Mamaville – 10 Signs it’s the end of the school year

Life, Love & Dirty Dishes – Things parents must do in a heatwave

 

 

 

 

 

 
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About Claire Kirby

Claire is the blogger behind Life, Love and Dirty Dishes. A blog about the amusing side of parenting. Claire’s claim to fame is that she once spoke to Phillip Schofield on a Going Live phone in. Awesome, right? She with three boys; The Husband, Big (9), who never ever stops talking, and Little (5), who never ever stands still.
They live in a Lego house. They don’t really, but they have so much off the stuff they could probably build one.

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