LOL Round-up: Body image

We made it through January and now everyone is feeling a bit ‘meh’.  Have you shifted those Christmas pounds yet?  Chances are you’re feeling rubbish because you caved at the first sniff of a Dairy Milk, or you’re feeling rubbish because you haven’t even sniffed a Dairy Milk for a month now.

I have the perfect remedy.  Sit back and work those tummy muscles effortlessly with this months LOL Round-up.  There’s some fantastic laughs about body image, exercising, and finally accepting ourselves and owning it. 

 

Body Image:

Boobs.  Too big?  Too small?  Not where they are supposed to be?  As a woman who has more than a handful, I fully appreciate big boobs can be a blessing and a curse.  Northern Mum sums up the pitfalls brilliantly in The Curse of The Big Breasted Woman:

A normal bra just about works on a day-to-day basis, running in one causes them to fly out sideways, knocking over small children and smashing into lampposts.

What about bums?  Has yours gone south too?  Does it continue jiggling for a few seconds after you’ve stopped moving?  Motherhood: The Real Deal looks at #MumBumProblems:

You stare at the dressing room mirror in disbelief you realise that where you once had two buttocks, you now seem to have….HOLY MOLY….four….FOUR? What is this some kind of cruel joke. No swimsuit should ever be cut that high.

But it’s not just us Mums that show the effects of parenting on our bodies.  The Dad Bod is a thing and Father-hood.co.uk is reassuring all the Dad’s out there in Should I Fear the ‘Dad Bod’?

During the opening few months of fatherhood you will go to the gym less, you will eat more crap, you will sleep infrequently and you will not have the time to shave that little cluster of hair round your nipple.

 

Exercise:

Some women are gifted with the ability to work out and look glamorous at the same time.  They finish their class looking like they have just stepped out of a salon.  Some women are gifted with the ability to work out and sweat buckets at the same time.  They finish their class looking like they have just survived a zombie apocalypse.  

I’m going to start a new class called ‘zombie apocalypse’ so all of my fellow sweat dripping mummy’s will feel at home.  I have a feeling these following ladies would attend…

Mumzilla – The Inner Monologue of an Unfit Mother:

Shit, shit SHIT this is aerobics! They didn’t say aerobics, it said “Total Body Conditioning” on the website. Bugger, I hope I don’t kick a granny in the foof again.

This Mums Life – How Not to do a Spin Class:

Don’t assume that even though you aren’t as fit as you once were, you won’t struggle to keep up with the torture being inflicted on your legs and arse-the struggle will begin in the first five minutes, and you’ll be faced with the dilemma of walking out and being shamed in front of the class, or staying until the end, thus risking probable death.

The Adventures of a Beta Mummy – Beta Mummy Does The Downward Dog:

It goes without saying that Alpha Mummy is very much cut out for yoga.  Pre-children, her and her husband took year-long sabbaticals during which they lived in a Tibetan mountain retreat and practised yoga daily.  Probably tantric sex too.

 

Owning It:

We all know that eating healthily and exercising is good for us.  But obsessing over our body image and worrying about our ‘mum tum’ isn’t.  Mad House Mum gives us some brilliant and practical advice on how to own it this summer in Listen up Ladies, including this gem of advice:

Modern bikinis, or at least any cheap crap you purchase from Primark, will not be generous in the girth. The last thing you want is to be on your sun-lounger, having already spent bloody ages getting sun creamed up, only to lean over for a change of position to grab your cocktail and catch sight of your minge, poking out from the Primarni 2 quid bikini bottoms.  

 

I’m going to leave you with my thoughts on dieting in my post The Sods Laws of Dieting:

When you finally fit back into the jeans you were so desperate to wear, you realise they are no longer ‘fashionable.’

 

Please do link up your funny posts to the Friday Frolics linky.

See you next month for more giggles.

Claire.