How I’m planning to survive my first family Christmas

Sophia, the editor and co-founder of Milk Drunk Diary is a milk-stained Mum, documenting the sh*ts and giggles (quite literally) of being a new parent and offering an entertaining look at family life. Here she shares how she’s planning to survive her first family Christmas. Over to Sophia…

HOLIDAYS ARE COMING…

‘It’s Christmassssss’ screeches Noddy Holder in one of the most overplayed songs of all time. Just as I was reaching my threshold of Christmas song tolerance, I went and had a baby, and now there’s no escaping cheesy songs I am duty-bound to play for his first Christmas.

However, a touch of ‘Slade’ is the least of my festive worries. I now have the arduous task of cooking for two families, followed by a road trip up North to visit more relatives, finished off by meeting my new nephew. This Christmas is less of a ‘holiday’ more of an endurance!

With the vast majority of us planning to spend time with family over Christmas, I have been putting digital pen to electronic paper to find out how I can keep my sanity this year, with all that’s going on. And this is what I’ve come up with so far…

1. I will not go near a shop at all during Christmas week. It just drives my stress levels up at a time when my blood pressure doesn’t need any more prodding! Instead I will be placing an order with my local supermarket online, for delivery on Christmas eve.

2. Since my house will resemble a soup kitchen, with ten mouths to feed (gulp!) I’ll be taking a bit of a shortcut this year. The night before, I’m going to make a ham, and a gammon, then on the morning of – just turkey. This way our table will look like a Smorgasbord of delights that I slaved over since 5am.. if only they knew!

3. Christmas dinner is limited to the immediate bloodline only. No cousins, no unmarried partners, no hangers-on! Our house is hardly big enough to swing a baby in, let alone pull 10 Christmas crackers.

4. Babies love Brussels sprouts, who knew! So this year, when my Mother still forces me to ‘at least have one’, I’ll secretly crush it in my hand and feed it to my baby. See, they do have their uses.

5. Baby has more than enough toys, so when the relatives ask what he wants this year I have a cunning plan. We could really do with the new Maxi Cosi car seat, so I’ll be dropping hints at how we would love to visit them more often, if only we had the new Milofix . That should do it!

6. We will be putting our family Honda car to the test this Christmas with over 500 miles and probably as many relatives to visit. But I’m impatient and not good in traffic jams, so I’m going the day after Boxing Day, as this is one of the less busy days. Ones to avoid are the Saturday before Christmas, Christmas Day and Boxing Day.

7. Without sounding ungrateful, I expect that I’ll be getting some bad sweaters, some horrific pink socks and an ill-fitting bra from my loved ones this Christmas. Thanks guys! Charities like Crisis take in unwanted gifts, so there’s always a good home they can go to.

8. If you can’t beat them, join them! Christmas Day should always start with a Bucks Fizz and end with a Baileys. So while I’m slaving away over a burnt turkey, my family will be downing the deceptively alcoholic beverage, slowly drinking themselves into an early night (oh for daytime drinking), letting me at least enjoy the last few hours in peace!

Happy Christmas!

The post was written by Sophia – Editor of leading parenting blog The Milk Drunk Diary. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.