“…my late grandmother – who used to phone me regularly at 11pm on a Sunday evening (waking me up every time) to ask why I was in and not out finding myself a husband.
“She would just be back from some do or other, fresh as a daisy in her high heels and I’d be under my duvet barely able to speak. I was 30 something. She was well into her 90s. I miss her,” says Cari Rosen, author of The Secret Diary of A New Mum (Aged 43 ¼) and Community Manager of Gransnet.com. Here, on Grandparents’ Day, she reminisces about the influence her incredible grandmothers have had on her, throughout her life.
I think about my other grandmother who will – god willing – celebrate her 95th birthday in a couple of weeks. She is possibly the most modest and unassuming person on the planet – you would never know that she has met kings and queens, Popes and prime ministers – but coax out the stories and you’ll be entertained for hours. She has a wicked (and I mean wicked) sense of humour and is rather partial to a Cadbury Flake. She means the world to me.
I have a photo of the two of us (above right), together with my mother and my great grandmother (who died soon after) taken when I was just a few weeks old. I am wrapped in the shawl my grandmother had knitted for me. Four generations of women. It’s pretty special.
I almost lost my grandmother just before my own daughter was born. I like to think that the thought of meeting her third great-grandchild spurred her on to make an unexpected and remarkable recovery. And she tells me that this is true – although she also wanted to stick around to make sure that my youngest brother found himself a nice girl (he has). And to finish off the big box of Lindor in her cupboard (she did. I’m proud to say I helped)
And soon after I gave birth we recreated that photo. Four generations of women. The baby wrapped in the very same shawl. It’s extra special.
When I think about grandparents I think about my daughter, who is pretty smitten with hers – and they with her. Indeed I have learned to accept that I am now superfluous to requirements when she is around and that when they call it is no longer to speak to me. (Er hello mum, dad…remember me? No? I’m right here behind her ladyship. Oh…) Though actually there are few things to beat seeing the pleasure they get from her company.
And these days I think about grandparents more than ever before thanks to my new(ish) job at Gransnet. Day in, day out I am immersed in the world of three, even four generations and the highs and lows that go with the territory.
I know from the site that there are many amazing things about being a grandparent. But I have also learned of people trying to cope when their only grandchildren live on the other side of the world. Of others dealing with the heartbreak of being denied access to their grandchildren altogether.
Though I am loath to face up to it, there comes a time in all our lives when our grandparents are no longer with us. Until that time I am now more determined than ever to make the most of the relationships we are so very lucky to have.
And if there’s the odd box of Lindor chucked in along the way? Well that’s a very sweet bonus.
–By Cari Rosen, secretdiaryofasecretdiary.blogspot.com
You can also follow Cari on Twitter (@cazroz).
About Holly Seddon
Holly Seddon is a writer, editor and community consultant and helped launched the community for Adoption UK, which won charity website of the year just 9 months later. She also writes a music blog.
Anne Mackle
Sunday 11th of September 2011
What lovely posting. I had a tear in my eye as I finished reading it. I have only been a grandmother for 11 days to a beautiful wee girl, I hope I am in her life as long as your grandmothers and I do hope she loves me as much.