Why I’m going to BritMums Live! Ministry of Mum

In the first of our series of guest posts in the lead up to BritMums Live!, Claire from Ministry of Mum shares her thoughts, hopes and dreams about attending her first BritMums Live! event.

Robert De Niro and BritMums Live

A friend of mine once went to a dinner party in New York and Robert De Niro was there. Not a lookylikey “Tonight Matthew I’m going to be…” but the real life Robert De Bloody Niro. Of course my first reaction was “What was he like???” to which my friend’s reply was this: “He was so boring. He sat at the table and didn’t say a word all evening. Completely shattered the image I had of him being fascinating, compelling to watch and, well, an icon.”

You may wonder why I’m telling you this. It’s because in a few weeks’ time I will be attending Britmums Live. And I’m full of anxiety. Full.Of.It. You could, in fact, put all my anxiety into a landfill and there’d still be some left over. I’m full of this anxiety because I’m really worried that people who know me through my blog and through Twitter will be super disappointed when they meet me in the flesh. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any way comparing myself to the great Robert De Niro, him of the twinkling eyes and acting oh so great. In fact his toe nail probably has more talent in it than me. Yet my point is this – whether you know somebody through the movies, on Twitter or you read their blog, you’re going to have an image in your head of what they’re like. And this scares the shit out of me. Because in real life I’m actually pretty dull. I am not in the least bit exciting. I’m actually a normal mum who looks after her kids to the best of her abilities, has a moan and gets her kicks out of a cheeky G&T and Made In Chelsea.

So I’m anxious.

I’m anxious because I am not in any way going to live up to anybody’s expectations. Well, if anybody in the first place actually has an expectation. The expectation might very well be that I’m a nutter and, well, I can possibly live up to that. As not only will I probably sit there for two days not uttering a word, if I do start talking I’ll be likely to jabber on like a complete idiot, spouting a load of shite.

I’ve actually had six dreams about this. SIX. In most of them I’ve arrived late, missed all the fun and sat in a corner too freaked out to move. In one of them I was naked – but at least that dream was good because the dads people wanted to talk to me.

These dreams stopped last week – and this is why: I HAD AN EPIPHANY. My silly little brain suddenly realised something. It dawned on me that practically every single person who is attending the conference will be feeling the same as me. Each attendee will be anxious about what impression they will make, how they will come across and if they will live up to the expectations of the friends they’ve made in cyberspace. We’re all right now freaking out over what we’re going to wear, who will talk to us, if we’ll be able to give good conversation and, goddamnit, be that person that we portray online.

We are all, in fact, the same. We’re all parents. We’re all there for the same reasons. We have that in common and it’s a great place to start. And I know that if I’m feeling a bit lost in a corner it’ll be pretty easy to strike up a conversation with someone and, hey, that someone might just be grateful for it.

So let’s remember that when we’re fretting over our frocks. Let’s remember that we’re all drawn to this conference for pretty much the same reasons. And let’s remember poor old Robert De Niro. Because if somebody at that party had shown him a friendly smile or struck up a conversation, then they might just have heard him say “You talkin’ to me?”

 

Claire Smith

@ministryofmum   

Ministry of Mum