My book for sale at BritMums Live: One blogger’s journey to being published

How many of us dream of seeing their book for sale at BritMums Live? How many have had an appointment with the publishers and gone on to dream. Ellie Stoneley shares her passage from blogger to author and her exciting new chapter as her book Milky Moments is being prepared for sale in time for BritMums Live 2015.

I’ve always been captivated by books; that tingly feeling you get when you open a brand new hardback book for the first time. As a child it was one of the ultimate treats. Books were treasured possessions and the authors, well, the authors and illustrators, they were up there in the hero stakes, with Blue Peter presenters, Margot Fonteyn, Richard Burton and Father Christmas.

Fast forward from childhood to June 2012 and a very nervous, 48 year old, new mother and blogger (with her 6 month old daughter in her arms), at BritMumsLive, feeling awed, terrified and inspired at the realisation of how many writers there are, and just how many book ideas there were swirling round the room. I left feeling almost resigned to the fact that my book idea, not that I had one at that point, would ever be showcased alongside all the glossy titles on display on the well stocked book table.

The following year I only went for half a day, but something inside me had changed, I knew that I wanted to write, again my idea at that point was very ill formed. I queued up to talk to an agent from LBA as a part of the ‘literary agent speed dating’, when my turn came I didn’t even bother to sit down, I didn’t have a smart folder like everyone else; a neatly typed summary of my idea, nor the first 10,000 words, I felt a total fraud and burbled inanely, apologised and turned round to leave. “Stop”, she said, “sit down”, I did, blushing furiously and apologised again. She asked me about my idea, listened and then said she thought there was a possible gap in the market, said I was funny and suggested I might be the person to fill it, she asked me to send her something after the event. I walked out on cloud 9, went straight home to my daughter and sent her an email, she responded positively. Then real life took over, day to day work, looking after an extremely poorly mother and an exuberant child …

Before I knew it it was time for BritMumsLive 2014, this time I had a truly cunning plan, one that stemmed from person passion for my subject matter. I emailed the lovely agent, but she had moved on from LBA, I felt foolish, I should have maintained a stronger relationship with her after such positive encouragement early on. I sent a fairly general email to the company and tweeted the agent in charge of children’s books. My original idea was still there, 7 chapters written, but the idea that had grown and formed over the year, was that of a book for children, and this idea had taken shape and seemed to fill a serious gap in the market.

I had for some time, been chatting with a local artist, someone who painted cards of chickens and blue elephants. There was something about her work that I loved. I asked if she’d ever painted a breastfeeding mother before, she hadn’t but was willing to give it a go. She came over and watched my daughter and I as we played and as then as we nursed. She sent me a painting. The hold and positioning of the baby were all wrong, but the love that shone out from her picture, was perfect. I asked her if she’d like to illustrate my book. She said yes and went off and sat through various life drawing classes and studies endless images of nursing women. We’re almost exactly 25 years apart in age, and we’ve become close friends, she also has the patience of a saint to put up with my obsessive drive to depict the images just as they appeared in my mind.

We both worked (for nothing other than the hope of our book becoming a reality) tirelessly, she painted, I commissioned, I critiqued, she repainted, I researched, I networked, I wrote, I showcased the idea, I showed illustrations to toddlers, shared words with other mothers, I met with remarkable women and gathered their support, I joined Facebook groups, I followed blogs (lots of them), went into all the local bookshops to test the idea, and I obsessed over every element of the book, generally in the middle of the night, a self employed mother of one doesn’t have much in the way of spare time! I also researched publishers, potential supporters, the detail depicted in the book and the market.

So, back to BritMumsLive 2014, this time when I queued up to speed date with LBA, I also had a folder, a print out of my idea. The feedback I received was practical and sensible, and that it generally takes 2 years to get a children’s book published. I was told it wasn’t for them but they wished me well and also said that the original idea was still of interest. I left feeling a little deflated, but cogitated on the wise words and spent alot more time researching. I decided to approach one particular publisher.

It took me a few weeks to summon the courage to make the phone call. When I did, I broke every rule in the Writers and Artists Yearbook, I burbled, I didn’t listen and then I ran out of steam and started to apologise. I followed our chat (if you can call it that), with an email apologising again and suggesting I come to London to show the publisher the illustrations. He replied saying give him a bit of time. I did and got back in touch sending through my ‘summary’ of the book, and a couple of positive endorsements. I asked again to come up and show him the pictures, he said I could just email photographs but I stuck to my guns and in the end we agreed a date. I was very lucky.

Pinter and Martin are a small independent publisher, with a massive worldwide reputation. They also work (among other people) with the La Leche League. They publish the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and other birth, breastfeeding and women’s titles, they have a few children’s books but not many, and I felt that if anyone was going to ‘get it’, then they might.

I was shaking all the way up to their offices in Brixton. I took a huge portfolio book with all the illustrations to date, print outs of my words and my business case, all wrapped up in an old pillow case. We chatted, I suggested I read the words out while he looked at the pictures, he said to give him the words and I said no. He looked at me, sighed, smiled and said OK. I took a deep breath and started reading, he looked at the pictures, I felt breathless and dizzy but kept my head down and decided to pretend I was reading to my daughter.

I finished and looked up, he looked pensive, he paused, and then said, “Lovely …”, I started to put the portfolio and my words back into the big pillowcase and waited for the “but” … “Tell me about the book”, I started to burble again about the research I’d done, he inturrupted, “no tell me about the book”, I stopped and explained the idea and why I’d written it. He asked about me, about my illustrator and about the research I’d done and then sat back, I waited again for the “but”, I had my feet in position to leap up, shake his hand and make a nervous and hasty departure.

“I’m going to make you an offer”, he said. “Really???”, I thought, and then realised that I’d actually said it, I apologised again (a recurrent theme in our relationship along with excessive burbling), “Wow, gosh, are you sure? Sorry, I mean thank you”, and that was that.

I didn’t really believe it was true until the contract was exchanged and signed and the first part of the advance paid … but it is. I’m splitting everything with my incredible illustrator, and our book is due out next year. Milky Moments is a beautiful book depicting breastfeeding; normalising it, for children and their families, and it’s wonderful (bright, colourful, funny, accurate and compelling)… and it is up on the Pinter and Martin website where you can register your interest in pre-ordering a copy.

Milky Moments is due out on May 5th 2015, just in time for BritMumsLive 2015! I find it rather impossible to believe that my book will be there, on the table, alongside other books with their lovely enticing covers urging passers by to lean in, to turn the pages and to buy. Perhaps, it will serve as an incentive to a nervous new person feeling overwhelmed by all the stories swirling around the room, just as I was a few years ago … if I can do it, so can you.

When she’s not writing, or singing songs about dingle dangle scarecrows and black sheep with her 2 year old daughter, Ellie Stoneley works freelance helping small charities and businesses to give themselves a louder voice online. She has worked all over the world, most notably helping teach Aboriginal children and mining opals in the Australian outback, and more recently, making a visit to Madagascar to highlight the issues many children face there, as a volunteer on behalf of John Humphrys charity the Kitchen Table Charities Trust. Ellie writes regularly about mothering and being an older first time mother on her own blog Mush Brained Ramblings, for Huffington Post, as well as at Mumsnet, Midlife Mothers, What to Expect and Breastfeeding Matters. She has appeared on TV and radio to discuss a variety of parenting issues.

You can follow the Milky Moments journey on Facebook

My blog is at http://www.crazypregnantperson.com.

Photo credit: Paul Clarke Photography

Image credit: Ellie Stoneley and Jessica D’Alton Goode

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