On boarding school and turning a blind eye to abuse

Boarding school is an institution that divides opinion. Some see it as a part of our heritage. Some see it as an outdated anachronism. Some believe it offers the best education money can buy. Some, whose jobs move them around, use it to give their children stability.

Although parents who choose to send their children to boarding school have their reasons there will always be those who disagree. Many people – most people, perhaps – are baffled by the concept. I wouldn’t send my own daughters, but I do come from a family that doesn’t view boarding school as unusual. Both my parents went. My mum flourished. My dad didn’t. He told me recently that school was something to be ‘endured’.

I went myself at the age of sixteen. But going at sixteen isn’t really an issue. Older, more self-possessed, ready for independence, it doesn’t require the same resolve to weather the wrench from the family. My husband, however, has a different story and, like my dad, his is less positive. As a child he was a talented singer and, following an audition at a well-known choir school, he was awarded a scholarship. His parents wanted what they thought was best for him and so he went. He was eight.

Sadly, his parents had no idea that two of the teachers were abusing boys. Not all the boys. My husband was one of the lucky ones. Although he wasn’t affected directly, the malevolent oppressive atmosphere that pervaded the school impacted him profoundly. He was aware something was going on, that some of his peers were somehow ‘special’. Complaints made were hushed up and the teachers quietly sent on to abuse elsewhere, and it wasn’t until thirty years later that the two men were brought to justice.

It took that long for the boys whose lives were sadly ruined to finally feel able to speak out. In my eyes the silencing of these children’s cries and the cover up are as reprehensible as the crimes committed. From the headmaster, desperate one presumes, to avoid a scandal, to other members of staff who must have turned a blind eye, all in some way were enabling the abuse. Hopefully nowadays things would be different. Hopefully we have learnt from the past and in situations where schools and other institutions act ‘in loco parentis’ those children’s voice would not only be heard, but they would more importantly be listened to.

The Judas Scar is the story of two friends who were involved in a case of bullying at school, who meet up twenty-five years later and quickly find themselves embroiled in a web of betrayal, love, desire and revenge. Read the Judas Scar reviews and buy it on Kindle for £1.53.