Blogging: it’s a bit like internet dating

Nel Heshram has been shortlisted for the Fresh Voice BiB category which she’s over the moon about and would LOVE your vote. Here she writes a guest post for us – blogging: it’s a bit like dating. what do you think?

Mum of two, 38, GSOH, wltm…..

I’m new to this game. The Pigeon Pair and Me is almost six months old, and I’m still struggling with Blogger, Twitter and Google+. I messed up my Facebook page and had to wait weeks before I was allowed in for a second try. And I accidentally deleted one of my favourite posts. With no backup, anywhere.

But some things about blogging seem strangely familiar.

That nervousness after writing a few heartfelt words, and posting them online for others to inspect and judge. The thrill when someone I admire leaves a comment. The hours that fly by while reading about other people, and mooning over their beautifully shot pictures.

Yes: it’s internet dating!

A few years ago I started playing around with the idea of meeting my dream partner online. Some of my friends were trying it. Why not give it a go?  If nothing else, it might provide me with a few amusing anecdotes.

It was addictive. Each morning I would rush to the laptop to see whether anyone interesting had been in touch. The people I was chatting with became very real to me. From their pictures, profiles and the snippets of banter we exchanged, I sometimes felt as though I could see right into their souls. Emotions were laid bare. Hopes for future romance, and the history of past relationships were all shared.

Just like blogging. We put our lives, dreams and fears out there, and often feel familiar with each other before we’ve even met.

I do hope blogging isn’t quite the same as internet dating, though. When I met up with those wonderful men I’d met online, things turned out to be….well, not quite as they seemed.

For a start, nobody looked like they did in the photos. They were often almost unrecognisable.  Older, fatter, more wrinkles, less buff. Or just…well, different.

My favourite case of false advertising was the big strapping Aussie, who looked very handsome in his photos. And when I met up with him, he did indeed turn out to be as good-looking as the pictures suggested.

Unfortunately, he was afflicted by a terrible walk. As we set off from our meeting point towards the pub, I noticed with horror that, to propel himself forward, he kicked one leg out in front of him – hard – and then the other.

He walked exactly like a pigeon.

To save myself from an evening of stifled giggles, I pretended I was meeting a friend for dinner, and rushed out of the pub after one drink.

Even when I was pleasantly surprised by the look of the person, there was often some hidden weirdness. Like the man who was very nice: charming, well-read, politically engaged, intelligent. Until he revealed his love of motorised scooters. And when I say love, I mean REAL love. He had seven of the oily, greasy things. Two parked outside, and the other five inside his one-bedroom flat. Including the two that shared his bedroom.

Yes, he did invite me back to see his scooters. And no, I didn’t take up the offer of the ride of my life.

So, even though I felt I knew these men, I didn’t.

I’m sure blogging isn’t quite the same. People don’t seem to be out to impress, or to hide their flaws. And, over the last six months, I’ve read plenty of raw, naked honesty that couldn’t be faked.

So, when you and I finally meet at Britmums Live, I’ll be the one wearing a red rose. And I’ll look forward to seeing you in the flesh.

Just try not to walk like a pigeon.

Nell Heshram finally met her soulmate: a longtime university friend, who happened to be internet dating at the same time. They shared many a laugh about their weird and wonderful times. And then fell in love. You can read about some of it here.

Her blog the Pigeon Pair and Me has nothing to do with the Aussie who walked like a bird. It’s a collection of thoughts, stories and pictures from her life as a stay-at-home Mum to Austin (three), and Gwen (one).

The Pigeon Pair and Me has just been shortlisted in the Fresh Voice category of the Brilliance in Blogging awards. Nell is over the moon, and would be eternally grateful to anyone who casts a vote for her in the next round.

You can tweet Nell @NellHeshram. Her new facebook page is now up and running here.