What does Bonfire Night mean to your family? Perhaps you attend a community bonfire, make a Guy Fawkes or indulge in some tasty treats. For me, 5th November is a very special day. It is the day I became part of the Holmes family. I was adopted on Bonfire Night.
About my adoptive parents
My adoptive parents had two teenage sons. They had always wanted a daughter but were unable to have more children. At the grand old age of 42, they decided to start all over again and offer a home to a child. They contacted the Catholic Children’s Home in Leeds. The staff were so impressed that they wanted to start all over again on the parenting lark in their forties that they arranged a special meeting with the Bishop!
How I met my adoptive parents
It was decided that as Mum and Dad were that bit older an older baby might be better for them. So they met me and took me home when I was 11 months old. My birth mother had brought me to the centre from London and bought me a doll to remember her by. I have that doll to this day.
Mum and Dad came along to collect me on 5th November 1969. Mum fed me and apparently we took to each other straightaway. Mum did mention that she could hear a wailing sound but did not work out until later that it was my birth mother. My Mum always wished she could have met my birth mum to tell her that she had every intention of looking after me well. That was not allowed in those days. I understand there is more support for everyone involved these days.
Going to my new home
It was dark by the time Mum and Dad took me home to Dewsbury. Mum said it felt like the fireworks were there to mark such a life-changing event for all of us. When I arrived home, apparently one brother took me out to show me off to the neighbours and another helped to give me a bath.
All the signs are that apart from a few ill-informed and negative remarks, the community accepted me as one of their own. I was showered with welcome gifts — even from the milkman!
Did I have a ‘good’ adoption?
The adoption went well. Did that mean my parents were perfect? Not at all. Would I have wanted them to be? Absolutely not. They were individuals with good and bad points as was I. Just like in any family.
As the years went by, people would comment how I looked so like my Mum. Sometimes we would share our adoption story and sometimes we would just smile at each other knowingly. Character- and interests
-wise, I am a mix of my adoptive parents. It is not difficult to work out where my love of learning, my strong sense of social justice or my wish to help the underdog comes from.
How I celebrate 5th November
Every year on 5th November, we would mark the day that I came home and took on my new name of Catherine Holmes. We did this quietly and in quite a private way perhaps sharing a cake and cards or buying each other flowers.
Mum and Dad passed away in recent years and I wrote the eulogies for both of them.
When I ‘Remember, remember the 5th November’, I am thinking of Irene and Kenneth Holmes and how they gave me exactly what I needed.
An identity
A home
Love and acceptance
Encouragement to learn and to aspire
A family
For their part, they stated that their family would not have been complete without me and that I kept them young!
You don’t have to be a paragon of virtue to adopt. You just have to be like most parents – loving and trying your best to keep on keeping on through the joys and the challenges.
For more information on adoption, visit leading charity AdoptionUK.
More Bonfire Night
About Kate Davis-Holmes
Kate Davis-Holmes is a writer and blogger. She is married with 3 children. After obtaining a law degree from Cambridge University, Kate spent 20 years working in local and national organisations. She has experience of project management. media relations, events organisation, advice-giving and the facilitation of learning groups. Kate’s interests include bargain-hunting, reading, travelling and cookery. She has a passion for helping good causes and seeing women get a fairer deal in society.
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Anya from Older Single Mum and The Healer
Thursday 6th of November 2014
What a wonderful story. I will now think of them and you on Bonfire night as well and all the fireworks that marked and still mark the incredibly special occasion for you all X
Isobel Child
Wednesday 5th of November 2014
What an auspicious start to your life with your new family! Anything with fireworks is good, in my book. In fact Bonfire Night is quite simply my favourite night of the year..... It is lovely to read of the deep affection you have for your parents. It sounds as if they would be very proud of you still. I adopted my son (and met his birthmother) and people often comment on how alike we are too. Needless to say, my teenager is less keen on hearing this than he once was!
Marianne Weekes
Wednesday 5th of November 2014
Oh my goodness Kate, you made me cry. What wonderful parents Irene and Kenneth were to take you into their home. Beautiful post, thank you for sharing