50 Reasons my kid wakes me up

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How are you all coping with the clock change?  I find this one slightly easier as it re-sets my kids body clock so my wake up calls aren’t quite so early.  There is however the night time whinging,

“I don’t want to go to bed.  It’s not dark”.

“Close your eyes and it will be.”

I haven’t had an alarm clock since 2009.  Not so coincidentally the year I became a Mother.  My kids are what we “affectionately” call early risers.  My eldest is now at the age where he gets up and does his own thing, but my youngest is still of an age where once he’s awake he’s jumping on your head and asking what the plans are for the day.  Not fun at 5:30am. 

In my 9 years of having kids  I have accumulated the following reasons for waking me up at a ridiculously early time each morning…

(I believe only one of them was actually worth waking me up for)


reasons my kid wakes me up image of an unmade bed


My kid wakes me up…

1 To tell me has done a poo.

2 To tell me he had a dream about Pokemon. I was dreaming about Gerard Butler and a chocolate fountain before you woke up.

3 By prising my eyelids open.

4 By falling over on the way to waking me up.

5 To tell me has finished reading his book.

6 To ask me what day it is.

7 To ask me to take the head off of a Lego figure. This is near on impossible when your hands didn’t get the message about waking up.

8 To ask me if he can go watch TV.

9 To tell me he’s hungry.

10 Because I can hear him wailing singing along to his CD’s from the next room.

11 By being 1 inch from my face and staring at me like a crazy stalker.

12 To tell me he has the Chicken Pox. He didn’t.

13 To ask me where his red felt tip pen is.

14 To show me the lightening scar he has drawn on his head so he is Harry Potter – after the red pen was found!

15 He heard a noise.

16 Because he is hot.

17 Because he is cold.

18 Because the sun is shinning.

19 Because the sun isn’t shinning.

20 Waking me up to tell me had the chicken pox. He did this time.

21 To ask me if his tooth is wobbly.  It wasn’t.

22 To tell me he has forgotten what he wanted to tell me. Seriously?

23 To ask me to buy the Lego Ninjago magazine.

24 By rattling his money box in my ear.

25 To show be the drawing he has just done.

26 To ask me if he needs to wear glasses.

27 To ask me what we are doing today.

28 To ask me what my favourite colour is.

29 To ask me what my favourite One Direction song is.

30 To ask me who my favourite Pokemon character is.

31 To ask me if I know what Johnny did at school yesterday. Despite when I asked him what happened at school yesterday at a far more reasonable hour, he couldn’t remember a thing.

32 To tell me he knows his teachers first name.

33 Because he needs to blow his nose.

34 Because there’s a spider in his room. You’re waking the wrong person up for that one.

35 To ask me if it’s Summer. In January.

36 To tell me the label in his top is annoying him.

37 To tell me is playing with his Lego figures.

38 By sneaking into bed next to me and then fidgeting and kicking me in the shin.

39 Waking me up to tell me he has a paper cut.

40 Waking me up by not actually waking me up.  Instead I wake up with my heart pounding wondering where he is and if he is ok.

41 By farting whilst on the toilet and giggling.

42 To tell me he has to go to school today. I know, I’m the one that got your uniform out last night.

43 To tell me he doesn’t want to go to school today.  That one always turns out to be a fun morning!

44 To tell me it’s the weekend. And reminding me in the process that it’s been 9 years since I had a lie in.

45 By wiggling his bare but in my face.

46 Because he has ran out of paper and he urgently needs some to do a drawing.

47 To tell me he has done a poo and it really smells.

48 To tell me that when he was washing his hands he turned the tap on too fast and now his pyjamas are wet.  Not to mention the bathroom floor.

49 To tell me he’s supposed to be going to school dressed as Guy Fawkes today. FML.

50 Because he is bouncing on my head.


Any more delightful wake up calls of your own to add?

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About Claire Kirby

Claire is the blogger behind Life, Love and Dirty Dishes. A blog about the amusing side of parenting. Claire’s claim to fame is that she once spoke to Phillip Schofield on a Going Live phone in. Awesome, right? She with three boys; The Husband, Big (9), who never ever stops talking, and Little (5), who never ever stands still.
They live in a Lego house. They don’t really, but they have so much off the stuff they could probably build one.