Every parent needs a little help from time to time, whether they’re working outside the home or just getting a break from looking after their children full-time. Finding the right childcare or cover is a challenge (we’ve probably all got some war stories to tell about the one that didn’t work out). The folks over at Au Pair Garden, a website which helps families find au pairs, have a nice little blog that features tips for parents as well posts by au pairs themselves. It lends insight into the process. Here, Karolina Latka, who has been an au pair six times, gives her tips for picking the right young one for you. Over to Karolina:
Choosing a great Au Pair doesn’t need to be difficult, but you should be aware of some potential problems. If you put some effort into choosing the right Au Pair rather than just expecting an agency to do the matching, you could find a very well-suited match.
1. Application – read between the lines
Each Au Pair writes a letter to her prospective host parent, which can be very revealing even before you speak to her. If it expresses positive statements about herself and her family, it might indicate she has plenty of self-esteem and positive relationships with her parents. Try to pay attention to any possible “red flags”. An Au Pair who starts a letter with “My name is Lucy and I’ve just broken up with my boyfriend” may be telling you she wants to escape from her problems.
2. Google your Au Pair
Try to Google your Au Pair. Use her name and city, e-mail address or nickname to locate her. Stumbling across a blog, Facebook, forums and other social networking profiles can give you a lot of information about the candidate. Photos that show your Au Pair drinking, wearing an inappropriate dress and posting indecent comments might reveal this is not the same girl on paper and who you thought was the perfect fit for you. Use your common sense. The fact that your possible candidate has a photo with a glass of beer, doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s an alcoholic – she just might have been enjoying herself during her sister’s hen party.
3. Conduct an interview via a video call
Utilise the beauty of technology – use Google+ Hangouts or Skype to do an interview. It’s free and actually seeing someone can show you so much more about who they are. You can see how the girl reacts to the kids and how good her English really is. If she makes funny faces to get children to smile and is genuinely interested in their life, that is very telling. While talking to your Au Pair on a video call, try not to ask any of the “hard questions” or quiz her about things. She might feel nervous speaking in your language and will need time to give honest answers. Keeping it casual will get you more honest answers to your questions, which (even if they are easy) can tell you a lot. You can get back to the difficult questions via email. The candidate will have enough time to think about the answers and you can make sure that she understands them well.
4. Place more emphasis on personal characteristics than childcare experience
It’s important to remember your relationship with your Au Pair will last for a specific period of time. When making your selection, consider how you and the candidate “hit it off”. Try to confirm that she has had enough experience to know that she can likely stand being around your kids but don’t pay too much attention to the age of the kids she looked after. The struggles you might have with your Au Pairs are usually linked to personal characteristics like immaturity, not taking the initiative, not following directions etc. You’ll find it much easier to deal with a person whom you actually like, who acts like an adult and has a good attitude even if she doesn’t have as much experience as other candidates.
5. and don’t forget to ask…
Go beyond the questions about the childcare experience and skills, to really probe whether the candidates you’re considering are a good fit for you. Here’s a list of 3 questions you should ask:
What do your parents think about your decision? You’ll gain insight into whether her family supports her move or that she is looking forward to escaping her family.
What makes you the most excited/nervous about Au Pairing? It’ll tell you how realistic she’s about the situation.
Why should we choose you over all other candidates? You’ll learn what makes your Au Pair candidate unique and see what her self-image and self-confidence are like.
Karolina Latka is passionate about introducing young girls and families to the benefits of cultural exchange through her own experience. Karolina runs AuPairGarden.com – a website connecting families without using an agency.
About Marianne Weekes
BLOGS AT: Mari's World; TWITTER: @maris_world. Mother of four and nana to three, Marianne Weekes has spent half her life in the UK and the other half in Italy. Blogging since Jan 2010, she finds it hard to drag herself away from her laptop and writes about food, travel and lifestyle. Always on the lookout for the next thing which takes her down many surprising lanes.
kids Activities
Monday 16th of July 2012
I get your point and I absolutely agree with you. The right attitude about things that can be annoying helps a lot. This is for the best I guess. A much needed protection to the Au pairs. Those are good tips, thank you...
Lucy
Wednesday 11th of July 2012
A great post! I totally agree that the phone call/Skype interview is critical to the success with an Au Pair. I have Skyped with my Au Pair about 4-5 times, and my daughter has talked to her twice. Getting to know an au pair is a time consuming task.
Expat Mum
Wednesday 11th of July 2012
Good points. I would add a few from my personal experience - - don't make a hasty decision just because you're up against a deadline. Yes, you need childcare and sometimes it might become urgent, but this person is going to be in your house and with you for quite a long time. Choosing someone just because you "really need" help may cause to to select a person that might not otherwise have made the cut. - go with your gut. If something doesn't feel right, yet on paper it all looks good, listen to your inner voice. It's probably right. - get lots of references about the agency you are going to use. If there are any problems with your au pair, the agency rep in your area should be able to step in and help. Some situations can get quite ugly, and you need a good agency behind you.