January has the rather dubious title of ‘Divorce Month’. Well, it depends where you do your research actually as some will argue that actually, more divorces are filed for in March but January is accepted more widely. It has been said that the first Monday in January is the day that see’s the most divorces filed for and if they are not filed this month, the decision to start the process will more often than not, be made in January.
It is suggested that families hang on through the festivities, be it for the sake of their children or if it’s not a joint decision, for the sake of not ruining their partners Christmas. January is the month for resolutions, a fresh new start and a while year spread out in front of us to fill with joy and happiness. The thought of being in an unhappy marriage can be too much to bear, the thought of months more of trying to ‘fix’ it, can seem like too much with the social pressure of January.
In my case, we separated in August and the filing of the paperwork was in October I think and so we don’t fit this pattern. Our relationship had been deteriorating for some time but I still didn’t think it would end with the big D.
I don’t think I could even begin to tell you what divorce is like in one blog post. It is so, so hard. Even if you want it. Even if you both agree. Even if you are still friends with your partner. Let alone if you don’t see it coming or are still in love. I saw a side to my ex husband that I had never seen before. I realised that I actually didn’t know who he was. Not deep down. Not like I thought I did.
However, that is only my view. Coffee Curls provides a diary of her divorce proceedings and I was astounded to read it. She and her ex husband managed to make it so quick, she described it as simple and although she doesn’t talk about how it felt, my goodness, it had to have made it slightly easier. As for the cost? Wow.
In ‘My First Divorce The Raw Truth’ Angela of The Inspiration Edit, describes the courage it took and the process she went though, to leave an abusive marriage.
This next post, written by Mum in a Nutshell, is inspiring. She offers advice to anyone leaving a long-term relationship – one piece being so perfectly true:
Get your support network in place, it doesn’t have to be huge, but you will need it.
Laura, from Five Little Doves, writes the most heartfelt story of her divorce. She reminds us that along with your ex spouse, you lose so much more. However, despite all that she lost and still misses out on now, she is thankful as it led her to the life she has now.
Finally this month, I’m sharing another inspiring post about Divorce, this time, written by Elemental Mama. She argues her divorce is a sign of strength.
Divorce puts you back in the driver’s seat, and, ultimately, the new path you navigate contains the potential for happiness, so long as you still have the strength left to recognise it.
I truly hope that January, or any month quite frankly, does not see the end of your marriage or long-term relationship unless it is your choice and for your well-being. Even if it is your choice, it rarely makes it easier and sometimes the guilt that comes with that choice is so heavy. If you are travelling along this path, take heart that we’re with you and I hope that the brave bloggers words, included in this month’s round-up, help you see that one day, you will be ok.