My Top 10 ‘You Know You’re a Parent When…’ Moments

bib2013fresh voiceNewbie blogger Maddie Sinclair of Gammon and Chips fame has been shortlisted for the Fresh Voice BiB category. Here she Guest Posts for us, giving us a little taste of the way her mind works. If you like reading her Fresh Voice, she’d LOVE your vote. Do you identify with any of these ‘You know you’re a parent when…’ moments?

At Family Gammon & Chips, we have just spent a tippity top Bank Holiday camping weekend in Cornwall with a load of delightful and eclectic specimans of the human race – some with kiddiewinkles, some without, but all 100% bona fide funsters.

I find that a camping trip can really test the mettle of your family bond, when an ill-prepared stripped-down version of your household fights against Mother Nature in all her glory – kind of like Russell Crowe in a colosseum against a mouse with a toothbrush.

There was rain, sun, tantrums, tears, mud and laughter… and lots of discussions about parenting – which led me to concoct this list below (I got the idea for it specifically when I found myself doing number 10). So here goes. I hope you enjoy!

baby in tent camping

You know you’re a parent when…

1. You find it has become technically impossible for you to walk past a half-eaten fish finger without giving it a little push in the direction of your mouth.

2. You can’t go on a family nature walk without collecting an assortment of sticks to take home with you.

3. You go to put your boots on and find missing jigsaw puzzle pieces at the bottom of them.

4. You accidently give a work presentation in the third person.

5. You find you can run barefoot over a spilt tub of Lego without even flinching.

6. You seriously start to make out dogs, cars, trees, houses and rainbows in the inkblot pandemonium that comes back from Nursery.

7. You are genuinely not offended when your baby eats marker pens, wet wipes, Sudocrem and compost, but won’t touch your Spag Bol.

8. You realise you now talk about buggies in the same way you used to talk about cars.

9. You don’t bat an eyelid when your toddler produces a poo in the potty that looks exactly like a massive c*ck and b*lls.

10. You happily volunteer to do the washing up, just to get a few minutes of peace and quiet at the end of the day.

Do any of these ring true in your house? Let us know by leaving a Comment below. Or even better… add your own new parenting moment to the bottom of this page.

maddie sinclaireMaddie Sinclair blogs at Gammon and Chips about her two nicknamed kids, 3.5 year old boy, Gammon, and 17 month old girl, Chips. When she’s not mothering, she can generally be found hunched over her laptop at the dining table looking for needles in marketing haystacks as a freelance proofreader and writer.

You can follow her on Twitter at @maddiesinclair and on Facebook.

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    • 10 May 2013 / 12:02

      Thanks Jaime! Feel free to add any of your own to the comments here! 🙂

  1. Cath
    10 May 2013 / 12:59

    When weekend brunch becomes your Friday night out
    When you start seeing playgrounds and not nightclubs while out driving
    When you wake up and see a nice sunny day and think great washing day
    When you find yourself singing ‘wheels on the bus’ while standing in the supermarket line
    When you are out driving by yourself and yell out ‘yellow car’
    When you pee in the public toilets with the door open because your pusher wouldn’t fit in the cubicle with you

    Oh I could keep going – fabulous list Maddie, made me smile

    • 10 May 2013 / 15:13

      Ha ha, thanks Cath! Yours are great! I especially relate to the ‘great washing/drying day’ one, and the public toilet with the door open! Thanks for adding to the list! 🙂

  2. Katherine Brennan
    10 May 2013 / 13:32

    Definitely number 10!

    • 10 May 2013 / 15:16

      Hi Katherine! We have a dishwasher at home, but I was camping when I happily volunteered, so I might feign a fault with the dishwasher I think – I really enjoyed my washing up ‘me time’! Thanks for commenting! X

  3. Anna
    10 May 2013 / 15:07

    …when you find yourself tidying up toys in other people’s houses/waiting rooms/shops/stay and plays, without thinking…..

    • 10 May 2013 / 15:20

      Yes, definitely! And grouping them into matching sets too, so things of the same type are all together, rather than separate baskets of random mess. But I am a bit OCD. Thanks Anna! 🙂

  4. 10 May 2013 / 17:47

    Love it Maddie!

    …. you find yourself High-Fiving a wee in the potty (not your own of course) and telling everyone in ear-shot about it…


    • 10 May 2013 / 20:54

      You are SO right Xandi! In fact, I did a little cheer only about an hour or so ago when Chips did her first ever wee on the toilet (was really just us sitting her on the seat and waiting, but it happened!). We then came downstairs and announced it to my parents!

  5. 10 May 2013 / 21:23

    You never take a bath without someone doing a poo in front of you

    Discussing thread worms and headlice over dinner is completely acceptable

    Going out to ‘work’ feels like having a break

    You realize all your favorite phrases used to me your mothers

    A bottle of gin & bag of kettle chips feels like a night out. (Read my latest adventure below)

    Shall I go on?

    Love @afieldsomewhere

    • 11 May 2013 / 21:08

      Yep, great ones! I wasn’t quite sure where you were going with the poo and bath comment there @afieldsomewhere! I’m glad it didn’t get quite as messy as I was envisaging! 🙂

      • 11 May 2013 / 21:19

        Just to put everyone straight. Our toilet is in the same room as the bath. Before you get the wrong idea!

  6. 10 May 2013 / 22:05

    A really great list Maddie, I love number 1 but I still haven’t managed to become immune to the pointy corners on the Lego!

    • 11 May 2013 / 21:13

      Thanks Suzanne! The same applies to chicken nuggets (I can feel Jamie Oliver’s eyes judging me as I type those very words – not you lovely Jaime Oliver fellow blogger, but multi-millionaire Mr cheffy with the rather large lips). Thanks so much for your comment! Keep on practising with the Lego – it’s a bit like training to be an Indian fire walker I think! Keep on keeping on! 🙂

      • 13 May 2013 / 23:49

        I judge no one for chicken nuggets!! if i could cook maybe i would however chicken nuggets are fair game especially after standing on lego and injuring you only good leg since the other one was damaged in the recent game of twister with a child or 2 that cheat!

        Popped back Maddie for #magicmoments xx fab post

  7. 11 May 2013 / 21:31

    I love nr 4! With extra points if you refer to yourself as “mummy” in the presentation!

    • 12 May 2013 / 18:10

      Yes, isn’t it strange that we all do the third person thing?! I wonder where it originated? And at what age your child grows to before you stop doing it! I’ll report back on that in several years! Thanks for commenting Judith! 🙂

  8. 12 May 2013 / 16:20

    I particularly liked no 8 there regarding buggies and cars! I don’t think I will ever get used to treading on lego though! Thanks for linking this post up to PoCoLo Maddie xx

    • 12 May 2013 / 18:15

      Yes… And when I do talk of cars, it isn’t which car is best or loveliest or coolest or most powerful… It’s which 7-seater People Carrier is the best for ferrying round a bunch of boys to footy. How times change, hey?! Thanks for commenting Vic! 🙂

  9. Nisha
    14 May 2013 / 20:43

    I can relate to a lot of those above as well as the ones Cath mentioned. Talking in 3rd person, looking for playgrounds instead of nightclubs, singing twinkle twinkle little star in my head at the supermarket.
    I have a nursery rhymes cd in the car which is sometimes still playing even though the kids are not in the car anymore.

    • 15 May 2013 / 08:47

      Hi Nisha, ha ha, yes I’m the same with the nursery rhymes cd in the car. And I have it on my iPod too. Sometimes when it comes on when I’m at the gym, I get about halfway through the song before I even realise what it is and think to skip it, because it is so catchy, melodic and familiar! Thanks for commenting! 🙂