Mental Health Round-up: Anxiety, isolation and panic

I felt the tears well in my eyes as I sat and watched my eldest daughter Nakita 14 singing a solo this evening at a school performance.

She stole the show, her voice was pitched perfect and when the room erupted in applause I was fit to burst with pride.

I have always strived to ensure my children know how amazing they are and have raised them to believe that anything is possible. I want them to have confidence in what they do and have a positive attitude in how they perceive themselves.

She stood tall, shoulders back and head raised high.

I, on the other hand sat there feeling sick, the room was spinning, and there were so many people. I wanted to get up and run, my head was screeching at me but I stayed put.

I was not missing this; I was not going to let my daughter down.

My friend and my mother came with me; my friend had come to my house so I had her to walk with. Leaving the house alone some days is impossible for me.

Anxiety has isolated me from the outside world for so long.

I wrote a post this week that many have been able to relate too; The reason why I don’t have friends and it’s all thanks to anxiety and my low self-confidence.

To see my own daughter on that state oozing confidence lit up my world. She may look like me but I never want her to be like me. I want her to have the life I never did and achieve all her dreams without anything getting in her way.

My own worst enemy is myself, I never feel adequate when around others; never feel as if I fit in anywhere.

I never want my children to ever feel that way.

Anxiety affects so many yet it is still not spoken about. The Mail Online wrote an article about the myths and facts of anxiety, anyone can suffer from anxiety. It is one of the most common mental health problems, with more than one in 10 people diagnosed with the condition at some point in their lives.

Chelsea, MS Mummy Of Two asks, Anxiety, who knew I had this and didn’t tell me about it? Like Chelsea I had no idea what was wrong with me and why I was feeling that way. She too has to have someone with her, close by when she leaves the home.

Anxiety causes isolation.

While Tania over at Special Needs Jungle speaks of her Asperger’s sons trip of a lifetime. Anxiety is one of his major difficulties Tania tells us yet here he was going to climb to the summit of Kilimanjaro. What an inspiring blog post.

I have seen so many writing about this year’s Brit Mums event and I ache inside when blogging events take place as I would love to attend but I can’t.

I know everybody gets nervous and like Berice Baby blog says “I have felt anxiety in the past but not as much as I did leading up to my first biggest blogging event EVER!”

This is how my own life is every minute of every day and I wish I could change that. Anxiety has stolen so much of my identity from me.

When the telephone rings or someone knocks on the front door, my natural instincts are to run and hide. To leave the four walls of my home spark a furious war inside my head.

It’s a difficult thing to live with and it’s going to be my next challenge, to at least begin to learn techniques to manage it better.

I may get to Brit Mums 2014, I have taught my children well, if only I could learn to take my own advice.

Do you suffer from anxiety? Why not link up so I can come and have a read and share your posts.