Happy New Year to you. I thought we would start of 2018 by looking back at some of the best giggles from 2017. So grab that last box of mince pies and indulge in these treats.
We looked at lots of topics last year, from poo to vaginas. Nothing is off limits in the LOL round-up. These were my favourite posts from 2017. I hope you enjoy them too.
Northern Mum – The Curse of The Big Breasted Woman:
Boobs. Too big? Too small? Not where they are supposed to be? As a woman who has more than a handful, I fully appreciate big boobs can be a blessing and a curse. Northern Mum totally gets it.
A normal bra just about works on a day-to-day basis, running in one causes them to fly out sideways, knocking over small children and smashing into lampposts.
Kerry Shaw Mummy of Four – Dear Beyonce – You’re Having Twins
Kerry’s letter to Beyonce is packed full of the advice that no one really tells you, but you really wished you hadn’t had to find out for yourself. Like this little gem about coping with morning sickness:
The best carrier bags to throw up in are Dorothy Perkin’s ones, they hold a lot of vomit, do not use Tesco carrier bags, the sick will just run straight through.
Motherhood: The Real Deal – 10 WTF Moments in The Nightmare of Potty Training
Talya’s post proves you really do learn on the go with this job, and collect some rather unique skills along the way.
8. A poo flicking technique is required – Clearly nobody wants to spend an age cleaning shit of a potty, so you will need to hone a potty flicking technique to get that steaming pile of turd into the toilet and out of your sight in one fell swoop. Mess it up and you’ll pay the price, believe.
Life Before kids vs After Kids
Pass The Wine Please – When Being at Work Doesn’t Seem as Hard Work!
Parenting isn’t all doom and gloom. And you pick up some great skills. Once you’ve negotiated with a toddler you can own any board room.
Sometimes, you have to say no to your colleagues – generally they take this on the chin and find an alternative solution. On no occasion have they reacted by having a shit-fit on the carpet or lunging at me with a spatula
Cardiff Mummy Says – 32 Thoughts About a UK Caravan Holiday With Children…
Holiday accommodation is not always what you expect, even caravans. So many dilemmas when you are in your home away from home.
12. Dilemma over windows. If we leave them closed, will they overheat and die? If we leave them open, will someone reach in and steal them?
And Another Ten Things – Cbeebies Stars – Where Are they Now?
Suzanne’s post set some time in the future, made me proper laugh out loud. Here’s just an example of one characters future in the Go Jetters…
Following Kyan’s discovery that Grandmaster Glitch was in fact his father and his subsequent departure from the group, Go Jetters continued as a threesome before splitting later that same year. All four continue to be embroiled in a legal battle against Ubercorn who they claim stole millions of pounds of earnings from them whilst working as their manager.
Absolutely Prabulous – If You Love Your Vagina, For Crying Out Loud Don’t Glitter Bomb it
As I said nothing is off limits in the LOL round-up. If you want to have a rant about vagina’s then go ahead Prabs.
Glitter bombing, however, is nothing to do with how tidy one’s garden is and everything to do with how fragrant the flowers are for the person visiting it. Personally, I’m not interested. As an Asian woman, I have a full-time job just keeping the blooming garden (oh it really is a blooming garden) pruned, never mind planting pretty flowers in it too, for crap’s sake.
And frankly, if the visiting party doesn’t like the natural conditions of the lady garden, maybe they shouldn’t visit the garden. Re the actual glitter side of things, as far as I’m concerned, call me conventional but I prefer to keep that stuff in the kids’ arts and crafts cupboard, not inside myself.
Kids are Gross
Island Living 365 – Why Parents Are Well Prepared to Fight an Apocalyptic Zombie Invasion
Emma sees the gross things kids do as survival training should we ever be besieged by zombies…
In order to survive a zombie attack we need to be at peak physical fitness. All parents are. Not convinced? Have you seen how fast a parent will sprint when s/he thinks that their darlings one are about to puke over the settee.
Rice Cakes and Raisins – How To Prolong Bedtime When You Are 4
Sleep is often the most saught after commodity in every parents life, the reason we love instagram filters and are fuelled by coffee. I loved this post about kids bedtime delay tactics.
That papercut you had last month? Well, it’s starting to hurt a bit. Make sure everyone in the house knows about it.
So Happy In Town – Top 10 Tips to Surviving The School Christmas Frenzy…
Nothing adds to the Christmas chaos like having a kid in primary school. There’s mufti days, Christmas jumper days, Christmas plays, church services, festive fairs, and trying to remember the name of 30 kids and getting your kid to write their name 30 times. It is utter mayhem. But fear not, Susie has some survival tips.
Try to remain calm and together when you realise you’ve lost your children at the Christmas Fair and you’ve spent £50 on tat that your kids don’t even want (and which you are now carrying around). They’ve even managed to buy back the attractive plastic cooker that you thought you’d finally got rid of.
Need more funny in your life?
Please check out this list of amazingly funny and talented writers whose blogs will have you testing your pelvic floor muscles and snorting your tea.
I’m over at Life, Love and Dirty Dishes with more funny posts. See you next month for another round-up.