I am now officially sharing my house with one of these creatures as my youngest turned 2 last week. In true toddler style he has been exercising his democratic right to protest in a very loud and vocal manner over seemingly ludicrous things. Luckily none of these protests have occurred in John Lewis!
These were my favourite toddler inspired posts from last month that made me giggle.
The Tantrum Tales: Episode One by What Mum Should Have Told Me
The sods laws of parenting dictate that the most spectacular of tantrums will always be in the most public of places. Alison’s tale of toddler woe had a particularly amusing ending, and after much therapy (wine) Alison can now laugh about it.
“Try not to feel ashamed (after all – it’s not you screaming your head off because someone offered you the left sleeve of your coat before the right) take deep breaths and stand by your convictions. Unless your conviction is telling you to wallop them over the head with a shopping basket – that’s not allowed.”
Toilet Training Driving You Potty? 10 Essential Items to Get You Through by Sarah & Louise: Mum’s The Word
One of the defining moments in todderhood is potty training. There are lots of practical guides out there and tips for how to get the pee pee in the actual potty, this one is a must read.
“It was like having a puppy in leggings. I’d regularly find little damp puddles unexpectedly underfoot around the house. The washing machine was groaning under the extreme use it was getting and the 1001 carpet cleaner manufacturers contacted me personally to thank me for my customer loyalty.”
Is Motherhood Like Kate Middleton Really so Marvelous by Right Royal Mother
Kate Middleton is the mother of a toddler, and you might think that being a Princess she has it easy. Polly has put together a handy and hilarious info-graphic to demonstrate that being a princess with small people isn’t as easy as it may look. From hair perfection pressure, to the ability to carb-binge after a stressful toddler episode, check out the post for more.
How (Not) to Make an Easter Nest With Toddlers by R is For Hoppit
Do you ever see all those beautiful pictures of tots in aprons, smiling angelically whilst they stir the cake mix? Do you ever wonder why they haven’t got flour in their hair and their hands in the mixing bowl? Because that’s how baking goes down at my house. I was quite relived when I read Lucy’s post to know that I am not the only mum whose attempts at baking with her children are not worthy of Pintrest. Not even close. Lucy breaks down this simple recipe into 50 not so bite sized but totally accurate chunks.
“7. Explain to the littlest toddler that ‘stirring’ does not mean whacking the mixture, splattering Rice Krispies and melted chocolate far and wide, even if that’s what her sister did.”
Mine! A Parody of Shine by Take That by The Anxious Dragon
I love a parody. This one about the common toddler issue surrounding the laws of sharing, made me giggle. What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine, right?
“You, you want to play with my toys
But nothing here I wanna share
Now your trying to cry
I wont be changing my mind”
The Lost Property Store of Parenthood by Mum Muddling Through
Any person who
owns is owned by a toddler will have lost a few, if not all of the items, that have wound up in Sarah’s store. See if you recognise anything of yours.
“Item ID 87667. Description: MARBLES: Located at a children’s soft play area during summer holidays on a rainy weekend, on half price day.”
The Toddler-o – A Mummy’s alternative to The Gruffalo by Life, Love and Dirty Dishes
Finally I am going to be self-indulgent and share with you one of my most popular posts that happens to be inspired by a toddler…
“But who is this boy with a terrible scream,
He won’t share things and he’s really mean?
He kicks and he throws, and he shouts “NO! NO! NO!”
He bosses you about like he’s running the show.
He goes red with rage, and his nose is quite snotty,
He doesn’t like to wear clothes and he has a stinky botty.”