In the first of a series of BritMums Live! guest posts, we bring you Claire from Ministry of Mum. Claire shares her hopes, dreams and fears about attending her first BritMums Live! on 22 June in London.
Robert De Niro and BritMums Live
A friend of mine once went to a dinner party in New York and Robert De Niro was there. Not a lookylikey “Tonight Matthew I’m going to be…” but the real life Robert De Bloody Niro. Of course my first reaction was “What was he like???” to which my friend’s reply was this: “He was so boring. He sat at the table and didn’t say a word all evening. Completely shattered the image I had of him being fascinating, compelling to watch and, well, an icon.”
You may wonder why I’m telling you this. It’s because in a few weeks’ time I will be attending Britmums Live. And I’m full of anxiety. Full.Of.It. You could, in fact, put all my anxiety into a landfill and there’d still be some left over. I’m full of this anxiety because I’m really worried that people who know me through my blog and through Twitter will be super disappointed when they meet me in the flesh. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any way comparing myself to the great Robert De Niro, him of the twinkling eyes and acting oh so great. In fact his toe nail probably has more talent in it than me. Yet my point is this – whether you know somebody through the movies, on Twitter or you read their blog, you’re going to have an image in your head of what they’re like. And this scares the shit out of me. Because in real life I’m actually pretty dull. I am not in the least bit exciting. I’m actually a normal mum who looks after her kids to the best of her abilities, has a moan and gets her kicks out of a cheeky G&T and Made In Chelsea.
So I’m anxious.
I’m anxious because I am not in any way going to live up to anybody’s expectations. Well, if anybody in the first place actually has an expectation. The expectation might very well be that I’m a nutter and, well, I can possibly live up to that. As not only will I probably sit there for two days not uttering a word, if I do start talking I’ll be likely to jabber on like a complete idiot, spouting a load of shite.
I’ve actually had six dreams about this. SIX. In most of them I’ve arrived late, missed all the fun and sat in a corner too freaked out to move. In one of them I was naked – but at least that dream was good because the dads people wanted to talk to me.
These dreams stopped last week – and this is why: I HAD AN EPIPHANY. My silly little brain suddenly realised something. It dawned on me that practically every single person who is attending the conference will be feeling the same as me. Each attendee will be anxious about what impression they will make, how they will come across and if they will live up to the expectations of the friends they’ve made in cyberspace. We’re all right now freaking out over what we’re going to wear, who will talk to us, if we’ll be able to give good conversation and, goddamnit, be that person that we portray online.
We are all, in fact, the same. We’re all parents. We’re all there for the same reasons. We have that in common and it’s a great place to start. And I know that if I’m feeling a bit lost in a corner it’ll be pretty easy to strike up a conversation with someone and, hey, that someone might just be grateful for it.
So let’s remember that when we’re fretting over our frocks. Let’s remember that we’re all drawn to this conference for pretty much the same reasons. And let’s remember poor old Robert De Niro. Because if somebody at that party had shown him a friendly smile or struck up a conversation, then they might just have heard him say “You talkin’ to me?”
@ministryofmum
About Karin Joyce
Karin Joyce is the creator of Embrace Happy, an inspirational and motivational website where the focus is on celebrating the good in our lives every day. The Embrace Happy tagline is: Not every day is good but there is good in every day. Before starting Embrace Happy, Karin was one of the “old school” bloggers from the early days of what was then British Mummy Bloggers with her parenting blog Cafe Bebe. In between school runs, blogging and being a wife to Mark and Mum to Ella (6 1/2) and Sam (3), Karin also works as a freelance social media manager and consultant.
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Sara
Friday 11th of May 2012
Im going to be there all on my own, not knowing anyone. But I'm determined to enjoy the event and learn loads and hopefully get to make some awesome new friends.
@SAHDandproud
Monday 7th of May 2012
I'm a bit nervous of the event. I'll just turn up with my bag and laptop and sit in a corner drinking coffee or something. Do I go up and introduce myself to people or just sit there trying to blend into the wallpaper? Haven't made my mind up yet. I think if I do go up and introduce myself I might scare people. But actually, as you rightly say, we're probably all feeling a bit like that.
And of course I'm on the Dad Blogging panel. Where I will have to say something witty or intelligent or insightful. Which makes me want to poo down my legs right now. But, in order to cope with this I'll be looking at the audience and imagining you all naked. Which I understand is a good coping strategy in such moments, if not, perhaps, a little arousing.
But, I've met you and I know you to be a warm and incredibly friendly person. When we met it felt like meeting a friend I hadn't seen in ages. The time flew by and I had a truly great night.
But I was bricking it beforehand. ;-)
Right now. I'm looking forward to it. Looking forward to meeting people I've chatted with on Twitter because, having done so when I met you, you can make some awesome friends.
Sarah Miles
Monday 7th of May 2012
I shall be utilising the Butterflies or be next to the bar for some Dutch courage. Please tell me there's a bar....
Am getting concerned about this what to wear malarkey! No jeans then? :(
admin
Tuesday 8th of May 2012
1. There will be wine. 2. I'm wearing jeans! (Susanna) 3. IT WILL BE FUN.