It’s 1994. I have braces, my forehead is disproportionately large for my face, I am wearing navy culottes, I have a framed picture of Eric Stoltz in my oversized Head Bag and I am about to walk into my first day of High School. I am Han Solo.
I was, and am still, a nerd. I only knew of the cool kids at school, I didn’t actually know any of the cool kids. Which is a lot like BritMums Live. If I got the majority of people I follow on Twitter, and threw them in a room, that is pretty much BritMums Live! for me. They are all super funny and oh god, they know each other. Twitter for me is the equivalent of me hacking into their mobile phone records and reading all the text messages between them all. It’s voyeurism. It makes me feel a bit uncomfy…they may not want me to be doing this and when we actually meet I expect it to be like “Take Me Out” and to hear “piaow piaow piaow” as they all block me on Twitter.
I was so nerdy I wasn’t kissed by a boy until I was 17. I don’t expect nervous snogs at BritMums Live! but I wonder – will it be an air-kissy kind of event? I don’t know anyone to air kiss. I don’t even know HOW to air kiss! I will probably go in for a friendly handshake, stumble and grab someone’s boob. Then get flustered, and start insisting they have a feel of mine in return. “No, seriously, tit for tat!” I will say in a shrill, panicked, incredibly loud voice. PANIC PANIC! Yes, I am truly THAT person.
When I worked, before the kids, I used to go to conferences all the time! I would swan in, not really pay attention, enjoy a free lunch and go home. I was not bothered by new faces or speaking up during discussions. I knew how to operate in a conference for work. But I didn’t really (shock horror – hope my old boss isn’t reading this) care about the content of the conference. It wouldn’t really affect me. But BritMums Live? I want to get every single bit I can possibly squeeze out of this conference. I want to enjoy every moment because this conference is MY thing. Blogging is MY thing. Not my husbands. Not work. Not my children’s. It is MINE. It is a creative outlet that I love from the bottom of my heart and I want to get the absolute max from my experience in June. So, I guess I am just going to have to grow up and get a blooming grip.
June 2012. I have lipstick on my teeth, I still have a massive forehead but can now afford a decent haircut to try and hide it, I am wearing a black dress to hide my lumpy bits, I have photos of my kids in my wallet (hiding behind is a photo of Eric Stoltz) and I am about to walk into BritMums Live!…
And I am sorry if I grab your boob by mistake.
Follow Hannah at Mama Bear with Me and on Twitter @HannahLMSmith
About Karin Joyce
Karin Joyce is the creator of Embrace Happy, an inspirational and motivational website where the focus is on celebrating the good in our lives every day. The Embrace Happy tagline is: Not every day is good but there is good in every day. Before starting Embrace Happy, Karin was one of the “old school” bloggers from the early days of what was then British Mummy Bloggers with her parenting blog Cafe Bebe. In between school runs, blogging and being a wife to Mark and Mum to Ella (6 1/2) and Sam (3), Karin also works as a freelance social media manager and consultant.
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