Bad Mums Round-up: Where have all the bad mums gone?

Perhaps it’s a New Year’s resolution thing, but every bad mum in the UK appears to have turned over a new leaf or chosen to go underground since the last time I did my badly neglected bad mums round-up.

As I trawled the BritMums members community, Twitter and other online hunting grounds to unearth fellow maternal misfits – I came up with… diddly squat.

Even the usual suspects I could rely on to make me feel a bit better about the fact that I need Chardonnay and hot yoga daily to cope with my life as a self-employed mum of three, now appear to be baking cakes, training to run marathons or having intimate bonding moments with their children. What’s more NO-ONE appears to be drinking anything other than green tea or water these days.

The Google shock  

In my desperate search to find some material I turned to the mighty oracle of Google, typed bad mums into the search box and prayed.

And guess what – it wasn’t pretty– my name as the editor of this round-up was the only one that came up and as such I’m immortalised as the only ‘bad mum’ this side of the pond. There were still quite a few bad moms out there, which seems to indicate Americans are either more honest about their imperfections or most Brits, excluding me, are better at parenting.

Well, I’m not quite ready to believe that I’m the only mother regularly slipping up, prone to cursing and often shouting my way to my glass of chilled Chardonnay at the end of the day.

So, please in the interest of my mental health if nothing else, please send me your tweets, emails or pick up the phone – but make yourself heard, if your interior is not always Zen-like and your home is not always a rose-scented sanctuary and centre of harmony.

Hurrahforgin caught my eye on Twitter with her title and to my relief I found a post where she asks if being bored playing cars with her three-year-old makes her a bad mother?  Encouragingly at least 8 people replied they felt the same.

Of course, not honey. NOBODY likes playing cars and the only game I do enjoy playing with my four year old is ‘register’ which only requires the occasional “Yes” from me

Another mum who caught my eye – though really if this is as bad as it gets this column has no future – is Emma Clark Lam, who wrote a post about the agonies of interior design. Emma bemoans the fact that she can write a 140,000 word novel, but the thought of re-decorating her lounge fills her with trepidation. I realise this is not an indication of bad mothering, but at least there’s some hint at imperfection here, wouldn’t you agree?

Mindovermatter  asks herself if she’s been painting the wrong picture of herself online after someone asked her if she’s really as healthy and perfect as she makes it look on her blog. Her imperfections and mine are miles apart, but at least she shows some vulnerability and admits to eating pizza once in a while on a Friday night! She does also say a lot of inspirational things about exercise and healthy eating and probably doesn’t belong in this round-up at all, but is well worth a read.

Finally, I found someone I could really late to – the 40-year-old Domestic Goddess, whose desire to throw and get away with an adult tantrum – throwing yourself on the floor whilst banging your fists and getting all of that frustration out – made me nod my head vigorously

I particularly warmed to this bit:

I am sure I am not the only mother to feel slightly unappreciated sometimes and slightly non-existent but we keep going back for more don’t we.

Let me know when you pull off that tantrum – I’d love to have a go too.

If you have any interest in this round-up continuing – and making me and a handful of other mums feel a bit less miserable about our shortcomings, do share some of your own moments of weakness with me – for next month.

@CheneKoscielny

chene@picknmixcomms.co.uk

About Chene Koscielny

Chené is a stroppy older mum who reflects on life and parenting – after 11 years of hit-and-miss motherhood, gut-wrenching guilt, endless frustration. She likes to add a shot of feminism. At 43, in the midst of raising an 11-, 8- and 4-year old, she’s finally found her voice (sort of), decided to enjoy her frantic life (most of the time) and to stick two fingers up to anyone, who tries to tell her what to think, say or do… (always!) She’s a journalist, communications consultant, writer and likes to drink Chardonnay and do Hot Yoga to relax (not at the same time obviously)

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