Adoption & Fostering Round-up: Gay adoption & Mummy don’t go

This month I am delighted to say that I have found some new bloggers to feature, on this the third ever Adoption/Fostering round-up. September is here (boo hiss) and whilst many of us breathe a sigh of relief at  the return of school, others are nervous and some of us a bit sad – the weather is going downhill and it seems ages to the next holiday! Its currently chucking it down and I’m contemplating putting the heating on….paddling pools and ice creams seem like a distant memory.

Dear Mr Cameron

Within the blogosphere recently you can’t have missed (and you shouldn’t), ‘Dear Mr Cameron….’ by Gem at ‘Life with Katie’ – it should be top of the list as a must read.  Gem expresses the thoughts and experiences of many of us where the overwhelming theme seems to be frustration. Whether Mr Cameron has read it yet, I don’t know but I would hope so and I think she deserves a reply – so no10 if you’re reading, get writing! The ball is in your court.

Gay adoption parenting

Another blogger with some media coverage is Helen at Positive about Adoption who I discovered via her blog did a great piece for The Daily Mail on gay adoption parenting which makes an interesting and insightful read. Do check it out and well done Helen for taking part. Its not often that adoption features in mainstream media.

Beacon Hill Training run courses and provide support for adoptive parents and they also have a blog. Recently they have written about the case of Katy Elder – the woman who is searching for her birth parents via YouTube – and how her story and others like hers, resonate with adoptees, birth families and adoptive families. ‘Why does biology matter?’ is thought-provoking and puts down some thoughts on why biology does matter to anyone involved in the adoption triangle.

I’ve also recently found ‘Why not Foster Adoption?’ which is a blog written about one woman’s journey through foster adoption. A recent post ‘When your little darling isn’t so darling’ will probably be easy to relate to for so many of us foster and adoptive parents.  All children play up and none of us expect our children to be like that but children do as children do, we all know.  Its hard to love a child sometimes when they don’t know you and you don’t know them and all they can tell you is that they don’t love you and they don’t want you to love them. But as a wise person once said, sometimes you have to fake it to make it. ….

These children who insist on pushing you away with their actions whilst crying out through their emotions can be hard to parent sometimes and occasionally it’s necessary to call on additional support or techniques to try to heal the hurt inside. At The Boy’s Behaviour, Stix relates how her son asked, aged 5, if he could have a therapist. This may sound alarming but it also shows a remarkable understanding and acceptance of Mini about his own feelings. I’m sure though it’s not a request that many parents hear nor want to. Stix of course takes it all in her stride and her blog is well worth the read…

More revelations have happened where at ‘Adopt and Keep Calm’, Bonzo has also spoken. Not first words but real first words of opening up – a huge breakthrough. A muppet with a puppet is worth reading not just for the idea on a technique to try to help expression but for the amazing progress that Northern Lass is making with him. Like all the children featured in these blogs, we wish Bonzo the very best.

For me? Well I have been very busy of late (what’s new?) which means I haven’t blogged as much as I would like to. We have a new addition to be joining the family soon (yes, that’s right, a 3^rd!) and things are a bit manic, but I did find time lately to write about reactions to our news. “She’s had another one! WHY?” It’s a common question and I don’t know the answer why. But the net result can be found here: ‘You’re not anywhere are you Mummy?’

About Maryam Lane

My own blog can be found at www.maryamlane.blogspot.co.uk and I am on Twitter @MaryamLane where I have been delighted to find a small but tight adoption and fostering community who like me, love to chat. If you have something that you would like to say about adoption, fostering, social work or any related area, please let me know and I will do my very best to include you in the round-up. Likewise if you spot a great post by a fellow blogger who really deserves a bit of a shout-out, please get in touch. I’ll be keeping out an eye each month for those in the blogosphere involved in adoption/fostering but if I miss anything you can contact me at maryam.lane@yahoo.co.uk , via Twitter or my blog

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