Adoption and fostering round-up: Attachment, first time meetings and last goodbyes


adoption fostering round upAttachment. A very key word to any parent but not least for any adoptive parent or foster parent. Attachment forms the basis of the parent-child bond. It’s vital for developing a healthy relationship with the Caregiver and a healthy attachment with Mum or Dad will in turn help the child to form positive relationships with others later in life.

When you adopt or foster, you hear the word Attachment A LOT. Its in pretty much every course and book and you become very, very conscious of it when a child joins you, so much so you end up seeing everything through attachment-tinted glasses.  Sometimes it can be a bit of a bug-bear where you can get a little sick of it since raising a traumatised child or one who has experienced a lot of transition can really hinder the attachment process. This month however, I’ve discovered Attachment Mummy whose blog is a really wonderful example of attachment parenting. She kicks off this month’s round-up with a fabulous heart-warming post about her own past and experiences which for me was enlightening and refreshing.

Kate On Thin Ice blogs this month also about her late father. Her account of his life is moving, heart-warming and I’m sure we all wish Kate our condolences and best wishes. Her Dad was by all accounts an amazing man. There isn’t much more to say other than –  read it.

From one part of the adoption triangle to another, Adopting Sezz blogs about the first time she met her daughter, a magical moment for any parent. Like many adopters or carers, this wasn’t at birth or in the hospital, but through the Introductions process, at a Foster Carer’s home. Her blog makes fantastic reading and brings back so many memories as well as casting light on the emotions of the process for those who are eagerly waiting.  I remember when we met DS1 and DD for the first time, I was fine until we rang the doorbell and then I heard little voices and all of a sudden the children I had heard so much about, were REAL. And there. And I was suddenly very nervous! Its a magical time and I bet I wasn’t the only one to well up…..and for us we have just had the same wonderful experiences again with the placement of DS2. I’ve blogged about it too..somewhere I found the time in between never-ending laundry, naps, meals and more. Sound familiar anyone??

A little known condition is PAD or Post Adoption Depression which relates not to the process of the child attaching to the parent, but the parent bonding with the child. Its a serious condition for which there needs to be more awareness. You can read more about a personal experience of PAD in the Adoptive Families blog.

A lot of the process of becoming a parent, whether through birth, adoption, fostering or some other means, involves dreams. Often things don’t go to plan or the way you expect and you have to accept that whilst some dreams come true others will not. Gem at Life with Katie blogs about forgotten and lost dreams with some important decisions going on in her family. Its hard sometimes to accept some things are not for you but it takes a strong person to do that. It’s even harder sometimes when dreams which you have put away, are given a glimmer of hope and enlightenment.

Stix at The Boy’s Behaviour has blogged about a Curveball of Kindness in her home. A mini (and dollop!) melt-down that resulted in a breakthrough – expression of feeling!! Stix’s techniques are obviously working. Have a read, it will make you smile and wish you had someone to make you hot chocolate and marshmallows too!!

Don’t forget if you want to be included in next month’s Adoption/Fostering round-up, let me know by either linking up below or find me on Twitter @MaryamLane . I’m always looking for more blogs with an adoption or fostering perspective and its lovely to see the community growing – I would love to hear from you.

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About Maryam Lane

My own blog can be found at and I am on Twitter @MaryamLane where I have been delighted to find a small but tight adoption and fostering community who like me, love to chat.

If you have something that you would like to say about adoption, fostering, social work or any related area, please let me know and I will do my very best to include you in the round-up. Likewise if you spot a great post by a fellow blogger who really deserves a bit of a shout-out, please get in touch. I’ll be keeping out an eye each month for those in the blogosphere involved in adoption/fostering but if I miss anything you can contact me at [email protected] , via Twitter or my blog


  1. 23 October 2012 / 13:03

    Thank you so much for including me, and for your lovely comments. I’m very honoured!

  2. 23 October 2012 / 15:53

    Thanks for including my tribute to my Dad and for your kind condolences.

  3. 23 October 2012 / 23:49

    Thanks so much for including me Maryam *passes hot choc and marshmallows around* x