50 phrases that fill a parent with horror

Parenting. A wonderful, effortless joy. A rewarding gift. One of life’s most important roles. One that most of us feel honoured and privileged to do. We can’t imagine life without our children.


Yet the parenting experience can be filled with moments of utter horror — those FFS moments we can all relate to. Little parenting stories which can be summed up in two words.

You understand. You have been there.  You know exactly what I mean. Two little words that capture a story and an experience like no other.  Two words is all we need to nod in recognition and say, I know that story.

Here, some of the two little word stories that we’ve experienced. What are yours?

  1. Bath poo
  2. Netflix down
  3. School phoned
  4. Glitter glue
  5. No Coffee
  6. Lost toy
  7. Potty flood
  8. Sleepover tonight
  9. Class bear ?
  10. Parental involvement
  11. Breastfeeding room
  12. Double buggy
  13. Again again!
  14. Last wipe
  15. Gina Ford
  16. One more
  17. Calpol gone
  18. Playzone party
  19. No wine
  20. Vending machine
  21. Sandpit water
  22. Last one
  23. Finger paint
  24. High temperature
  25. Voluntary contribution
  26. Climbing frame
  27. Gran’s advice
  28. Playgroup clap-along
  29. Scattered popcorn
  30. Soother vanished ?
  31. Fallen dummy
  32. Limited parking
  33. Cone upturned ?
  34. No batteries
  35. Sudocreme stain
  36. Leaky nappy
  37. No ketchup
  38. Missed nap
  39. Homemade costume
  40. Missing Lego
  41. Surprise visit
  42. Science project
  43. Preschool biting
  44. Planet maths
  45. Only one
  46. Partner delayed
  47. Lost tooth
  48. Nativity tears
  49. Twin nappies 
  50. Crunchy slime

So there you have it. Do you have any 2-word parenting horror stories to tell?

About the author: Fionnaigh Connaughton-O’Connor is a Galway girl living in Dublin who works in adult literacy. Mother of three – a daughter and identical twins who disappointingly not creepy in that Shining sort of way. Sometime blogger, part time aspiring writer, farmer’s daughter, interested in social justice but there is always time for puns, malaprop collecting and coffee. Twitter @doradaisy 


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