Bad Mums Round-up: Imperfection, failure and guilt

bad mothersThis round-up is not for everyone. If you sail through motherhood from one Facebook or Pinterest photo opportunity to the next, pass. If you’re married to a domestic god and your little angels never do anything wrong, don’t bookmark this roundup.

Corner of shame

This brutally honest corner of shame is aimed at those of us for whom the parenting journey is not always covered with scented rose petals: the imperfect, stroppy, grumbling and dissatisfied mums among us who find it all a bit of a struggle to be honest. The online hide out is for mums who swear occasionally, shout quite often, drink wine with alarming regularity and tend to call a spade a spade – it’s a place to confess, admit to your failures and lick your wounds in the company of other bad mums.

So, every month from now on, I will be looking for mums who make me feel, if not better about myself, then at least more human. If you’ve had a bad mum moment or feel a bit wobbly about your parenting, share your shortcomings– no one will raise their eyebrows, tut-tut or feel sorry for you. They may laugh, but it will be with you, not at you.
So, join in and send me your posts on chenekoscielny@gmail.com

LearnerMother laments her lack of personal space and the fact that her children use her as a human climbing frame. She doesn’t mind the cuddles, but admits to getting really p… off by the pulling at her hair “to see if it will get longer, fiddling with earrings, etc

The Mad House of Cats & Babies confesses that she doesn’t have an eye for making pretty things or whipping paper, beads and glue into a marvelous creation fit for Pinterest.  In fact, she HATES crafts with her children. I honestly thought I was the only mother lacking the crafting (and in my case – baking) gene.

Lunchboxworldblog has days (don’t we all) when she’s prone to shouting at her kids, zoning out and not listening to them because she’s preoccupied with something else and she also believes in the occasional spot of tough love.

As a newish mum Cleopatra struggles with the ‘ugly bits of parenting’
She really wasn’t expecting the neuroses that turn the most rational person into a confused, panicked mess – no one tells you, do they?

Nappies Inc worries that she may have already failed her 3-month-old daughter with her ‘vainness”.

Waterbirthplease asked mums to show her what they felt guilty about in the form of a photograph. The result? An awful lot of guilt over an awful lot of things – everything!

And last, but not least, expressionandconfession describes a typical ‘bad mummy day” of the kind most of us have (some more often than others)– and then goes on to list the five favourite things that get her through such a day. Coffee is top of my list too.

Are you ready to confess? If you have an imperfect parenting moment you’d like to share, a complaint or just a strop or tantrum you’d like to get out of your system, let me know.

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About Chene Koscielny

Chené is a stroppy older mum who reflects on life and parenting – after 11 years of hit-and-miss motherhood, gut-wrenching guilt, endless frustration. She likes to add a shot of feminism. At 43, in the midst of raising an 11-, 8- and 4-year old, she’s finally found her voice (sort of), decided to enjoy her frantic life (most of the time) and to stick two fingers up to anyone, who tries to tell her what to think, say or do… (always!) She’s a journalist, communications consultant, writer and likes to drink Chardonnay and do Hot Yoga to relax (not at the same time obviously)

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10 Responses to Bad Mums Round-up: Imperfection, failure and guilt

  1. Caroline Job (@lunchboxworld) 27 September 2013 at 09:30 #

    I love a spot of bad parenting. Facebook is becoming way too unreal these days with folks only posting the highlights. But we must remember with the highlights comes the lowlights. Interestingly enough I was talking to someone just this week that read my “Parenting – Tough Love” post who then promptly sat debating what she would do, if she had kids, with her boyfriend. So you see, it can prompt an interesting debate. What would you do? I personally love to read posts such as these, even ones where mums reveal their dirty washing! 😉

    • Chene 27 September 2013 at 09:48 #

      I’ve recently had a new mum complain on my website that my posts are too depressing. I understand where she’s coming from, but I so wish more people would talk about the lowlights and wobbles of parenting too. It just helps to know you’re not alone, doesn’t it. Cheers.

    • Chene (Why is her so stroppy?) 29 September 2013 at 18:26 #

      Hi there. Thanks for your comment. I love reading low lights too. Just makes me feel more human. Looking forward to reading more of your ‘bad mummy’ moments.

  2. Natasha Johnson 27 September 2013 at 17:46 #

    Great round up! Unrealistic parenting does no one any favours x

  3. Iota 28 September 2013 at 09:51 #

    Chene, you describe yourself as “an older mum” at 43. Seriously? You had your first at 32 and your third at 39, if my maths is right.

    Great idea to have this round-up. Blogging has done so much to lift the lid on parenting, and air those moments which aren’t like on the ads.

    • Chene Koscielny 28 September 2013 at 10:24 #

      I was never good at maths!

      Maybe I just feel old these days – and it’s actually 44 now – with a youngster who has just started reception. Everyone else seems younger – newsreaders, politicians, Prime Ministers, CEOs of companies – everyone.

      Thanks for stopping by – and do send some of your not so glam parenting moments to be included in next round-up.

  4. Tanya Leary 01 October 2013 at 19:20 #

    So refreshing to see this round up! far too much everything is rosy going on i think! Here is one of my many posts on being a less than perfect mum! If you scroll through the archives you can find many, many more!!
    Thanks for this. I will look forward to reading the other posts. 🙂
    https://mummetamorphosis.wordpress.com/2013/09/21/a-day-in-the-life/

    • Chene (Why is her so stroppy?) 01 October 2013 at 21:01 #

      Nothing rosy over here. Welcome. Will head over to your blog soon – for some bad mummy inspiration.

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