BritMums’ writer David Shaul co-edits the Dad Blog Round-up, bringing us the best from the dad blogging community each month. Here he shares his story about how he and his wife work and live together 24-7, and yes – they do squabble! David and his wife write and vlog for the blog Dad V World. Over to him to share his story…
Hi it’s me David. Today I’m doing something very different – an interview with my wife! I know you can’t see us but Donetta is here and we’d like to share with you how we manage to live together, parent together and now work together 24/7!
Immediately you’re thinking ‘You do WHAT together, are you mad!’ We probably are to be fair but somehow we’ve found a way to make it work, most of the time.
So obviously being married we live together, that can be a challenge for many couples alone. We also have 3 kids so we have to parent together, another added challenge as you parents reading will know. Now we also work together. We run our blog davidanddonetta.co.uk and YouTube channel David and Donetta amongst another few projects we have.
There’s a lot of decision making, discussions, problems and time spent together happening in our life covering an array of topics every single day.
We’d say the most important ability we must have to balance all of this is the ability to understand each other. There’s a time to raise a certain topic, a time to go all in and a time to simply shut your mouth and be patient. Understanding each other is absolutely vital and we think we’ve pretty much mastered it.
I can read Donetta like a book and she can me, it makes it much easier to know how to manage each other in different situations. With this in mind everything else builds from there. If I’m having an off day Donetta will pick up on that straight away and know how best to manage our day, it works the other way around too.
It helps that we are very similar and have the same thoughts and opinions on most major parts of our lives. We both want to work for ourselves which gives us a similar motivation, we both are pro-home education and the way we run our lives in general is all agreed upon.
It all sounds pretty easy doesn’t it. It’s not.
Many days we do clash on different things, whether that be parenting, content we create or general day-to-day stuff. We spend so much time together there’s many times we have ‘discussions’. It’s a much nicer word than arguments.
We have a plan for those discussions too! Knowing that our decision to work together as well as generally do life together would involve spending way too much time together we decided to make a plan for the inevitable arguments.
We say it’s a plan, it kind of just happened and then we recognised it and now it’s a plan. Basically we don’t take anything personally. By this we mean that there will be bad days at the office, as there are bad days parenting, emotions can run high and things can be said. Unless it’s divorce worthy stuff we literally just move on. We’ve spoken about this in more depth on our post How We Smash Married Life, Most Of The Time.
Long story short, many couples will add up all of the smaller bad moments in their marriage and it will inevitablly create a HUGE bad moment. What we try to do is forget these tiny meaningless things and move on quickly.
Is this a one size fits all, no idea, but it’s working for us. We decided we wanted as much control of our lives as we could. Working for ourselves, home educating our youngest and creating a business around our interests which allows us to have as much fun and family time as possible. There are huge sacrifices but much bigger gains.
Thanks for reading, we’d love to have you over in our community too @davidanddonetta 🙂
Could you or do you work with your partner, if so what are your tips on how to make it work? Share in the comments.