I love writing this Round-up and sharing posts from our community but I think it’s hard to get a good feel for the wonderful bloggers I feature and so with permission from Britmums, I have decided that alongside the usual Round-up format that we know and love, I will also choose a single parent blogger to feature in the Blogger Highlight. Single parent bloggers are more than just ‘single parents’ and write about so many different subjects whilst addressing the unique situation that some of us find ourselves in.
This month, the blogger I have chosen to highlight is:
The Single Swan is written by Pen. Not Pen, short for Penny, not Pen as in the thing you write with, but Pen, an anonymous pseudonym.
At first, whenever I read her posts, I wondered who Pen was. She was experiencing similar emotions and facing similar problems that I had been, either then, or in the past. I found her blog just as she launched it in 2015. Her writing was so relatable and so good that after a while, I forgot that she was anonymous and now, I forget that I don’t know her, as her writing makes me feel as though I do.
A few people have asked me why I chose ‘the single swan’ for the name of my blog. A few people have also asked me whether I am really called Pen.
Swans apparently are one of the few creatures, others being termites, beavers and pigeons who mate for life. Mating for life was my aspiration. Although I left my ex, single motherhood was never my aim, never my ambition. Having said that, I am okay with it. In fact, when I think of the alternative, marrying my ex and struggling through the rest of my life slowly being extinguished, I am more than okay with my single mother status, I am actually pretty happy with it. I am free again to choose my destiny. I am rekindling that fire in my belly.
She adds that
A single swan is called a pen, a male swan is called a cob, a baby swan is called a cygnet.
We are Pen and Cygnet.
She chose to be anonymous so that she could be as honest as possible whilst respecting the privacy of all involved. I envy her in this respect. I wish in some ways that I had done the same and started another blog to document the really hard parts of being a single parent – we all know that there are many of them.
Pen writes about life in general – the exhibitions or museums she visits when Cygnet is with his Father, Music, Days out with her son and she doesn’t ignore the big topics such as Brexit, Mental Health and Sex.
One of her posts about life in general is a very recent one – it resonates with me and will with many a parent, single or not. This is The Rush Hour of Our Lives
One of my favourite post’s is Sex as a Single Mother. Not only has she written a post that feels as though she plucked the words from my head, she has described the feelings and worries that so many of us have, in a way that makes you just want to high 5 her and say yes, that’s exactly it!
I never hide the fact that I am a mother. I always tell my dates before we meet that I have a child.
But, my dates haven’t seen the amazing things that I have done, that my body has done, all they can see is the scars, the battle lines and the lopsided breasts resembling empty socks. Not sexy!
Pen doesn’t just write about serious subjects although I’m sure that some people take Tinder very seriously. I really enjoyed her post To The Men of Tinder, This is Why I Didn’t Reply as I laughed and nodded my way through it having found myself seeing the same things and receiving the same messages. You don’t need to be a single mum to relate to that one.
The last post that I’ll share with you, before I urge you to go and check her blog out, is one from the archives, from 2015 and explains the gap in Cygnet’s baby book. You know the one, where you record birth details, first smiles, first teeth etc. It’s simply called, A Letter To My Son.
Thanks for reading and I hope to see you next month.