Recently, in Spending a fortune on ovulation kits Heather told us about her difficulties conceiving her first child. After that experience, Heather and her husband couldn’t have known the near impossibility of having a second child. Here, Heather shares the rest of her story in hopes that it helps others trying to conceive.
Since it took us such a long time to conceive our first son we were naturally concerned about trying again for a second child. We decided to start trying sooner rather than later and so when our son was 8 months old we began the long, long quest for another child.
This time I wasn’t taking any chances so I armed myself with knowledge about how best to conceive; the pill had now been out of my system for two years, I was taking vitamins B6 and B12, I was having fertility acupuncture and I knew my cycles inside out. Five months on and nothing had happened, I couldn’t understand it, we had conceived once, what was the problem?
Just after our son’s first birthday we went on holiday to France. I felt really weepy and exhausted the whole time but didn’t think I could be pregnant as I had just had a period although it only lasted one day, which was unusual for me. On the last day of our holiday we passed a chemist and I bought a test and couldn’t believe it when it came out positive! I was so surprised and happy that we had managed to conceive naturally without any help and assumed the pregnancy would be straightforward and would result in a healthy child.
Around 9 weeks later we were walking round a country fair, looking at the stalls and floats I when felt something “go”. I looked down and saw what no pregnant woman wants to see – blood. We went to the hospital and offered a scan the next day. I assumed everything would be ok and the bleed would just be put down to implantation or something innocent, however I could tell as soon as I saw the sonographer’s face that the pregnancy was over.
I opted for the “medical management” route, which involved taking a tablet. I found trying to pass the “products of conception” the most painful thing I have ever experienced, and eventually I went back to hospital where a Gynae doctor pulled everything out with forceps. I was then put on the labour ward along with other women who had just had babies. A particular low point was when a photographer asked me, “have you had your baby yet?”
Five months passed and I was pregnant again. Again I had some spotting around the time my period was due but no further bleeding. We paid £100 for an early scan where a heartbeat was seen and we were overjoyed to be able to tell our families on Christmas day I was 9 weeks pregnant. We got the letter through for the dating scan at 13 weeks and waited excitedly for the appointment. During this time I had no pain, no bleeding and continued with nausea and started to get a “bump”. But at the scan we were told that the “baby had died”. I will never get over the shock of it, I had no clue there was anything wrong.
This time I decided to go for the surgical option as I couldn’t cope with the pain of the medical management again and I just wanted it over. I had to wait a few days for a slot to become available, those days were unbearable, imagine going home knowing that inside you is the remains of your baby, every time I thought about it I couldn’t work out how I was going to carry on.
We were referred to a consultant who looked at our case. She was pretty sure there was some sort of link between the placenta praevia and the miscarriages – she described something about “the fundus”, late ovulation and late implantation.
I couldn’t take it all in. All I wanted was some help and to feel we weren’t alone. I told the consultant about the spotting I always get before my period and the fact I have irregular cycles and requested that we tried clomiphene as I had read it “strengthened the egg” and sorted out irregular ovulation. The first month I tried it I had quite a lot of unpleasant symptoms: hot flushes, irritability and worst of all, it didn’t work. I had been sure it would work for me. The second month I made up my mind that would be the last time, and after this we were going to give up on a second child and concentrate on the child we had. That month I conceived and nine months later I gave birth completely naturally to a healthy 8lb 7oz baby boy!
I felt utterly elated and couldn’t believe what we had achieved after everything we had been through. After the stress of the problems we had conceiving, the traumatic birth with my first son and then two miscarriages I thought we were cursed in some way.
Now I think we just had to fight for what we wanted. We did and I’m so glad we did. We could so easily have given up and just taken the doctor’s word for it that this was all “normal” and we should wait and see. I’ve always been a believer in making things happen for yourself, life is too short to leave it to chance.
Heather — Bargain Mummy Buys
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