…(There was one, I promise)
After surviving Christmas you might well be in need of Mama Zen’s Parenting Helpline…
Press 2. If you have banned all screens and now your children are driving you crazy.
The New Years resolutions may have faltered by now. The Confusing Diary of a Puzzled Mummy really tried: The Semi Pro Diaries of a Fitness Fanatic Extremely Healthy Mummy…
Pass a Chinese restaurant that is supposed to be amazing. Suggest we skip the gym & go to the Chinese restaurant instead. Both laugh as though it were a joke. It wasn’t.
Spring is in the air, soon it will be perfectly acceptable to eat chocolate eggs for breakfast. There is much to celebrate. Don’t overdo it though as Complicated Gorgeousness warns us in the hilarious ‘Wine Wine, You Divine Swine‘…
Glass three: the ‘I’m going to talk the loudest’ one
This is the point of no return. The sip starts to resemble a swig, then a gulp. I start drinking wine like pop, but that’s okay because there is a WHOLE bar stocked full. Everyone is so fascinating and the talk topics are so interesting that I need to interject something every three seconds.
April was all about the toddlers, and what’s a toddler without a tantrum? What Mum Should Have Told Me had us in sympathetic stitches with her Tantrum Tales…
Try not to feel ashamed (after all – it’s not you screaming your head off because someone offered you the left sleeve of your coat before the right) take deep breaths and stand by your convictions. Unless your conviction is telling you to wallop them over the head with a shopping basket – that’s not allowed.
Other people’s mishaps. Hard not to laugh sometimes isn’t it. Especially when they are the sleep deprived variety as brought to us by Whinge Whinge Wine: Stupid Things I Have Done Whilst Sleep Deprived…
The doctor told me there could be a tiny chance that it [tampon] may have slipped into my womb as it was still dilated from giving birth, so he referred me to hospital as an emergency. I had to ring my other half at work so he could come home and look after the kids – he had to tell his boss why and everything. So, off to hospital I went for an internal scan. They were 100% certain I was all clear and sent me home. At home after a traumatic day, and my other half tells me there is a tampon out of the wrapper sitting on the bathroom window ledge.
In June we looked at how life as we know it is never the same after kids. Leaving the house is the perfect example, as told to us by Five Little Doves in a post that will have you laughing and crying: Three Under Three…
On the weekends we would take two prams out with us, Gaz pushing one and me pushing the other, and we would walk in convoy, the lack of high-vis vests being the only thing that distinguished us from a Pre-School day out.
In July we looked at some amazing parodies. Having a bit of a crush on Jon Bon Jovi, this re-write of Living on a Prayer by Stopping at Two caught my eye!
Mummy’s got some sick on her dress
And something in her hair
She’s a complete mess
It’s tough, so tough
Hubby keeps on snoring away
When they cry in the night
“This isn’t okay, you’ll pay….
Still reeling from the aftermath of Brexit, the LOL round-up got political! My favourite was this brilliant post from R is for Hoppit: The Toddlers: Still Supporting Brexit…
The Toddlers are currently denying the existence of their ELC Toy Box Musical Adventure Bus. Photographic evidence of them with the bus notwithstanding, they both claim never to have seen it.
September brings us Autumn leaves and back to school. However back to school also means the parenting hell that is School Shoe Shopping brought to you by The Adventures of a Beta Mummy…
Alpha Mummy, of course, would have booked an appointment so that she wouldn’t be faced with a 45-minute wait before even being seen. She would have made sure that her little angels were well-rested and well-fed so that there was no possible reason for any unruly behaviour. And she probably wouldn’t have nearly choked to death when she realised that there wasn’t a pair of shoes in the shop below £32.
In October we looked at the funny side of pregnancy and childbirth. Big Trouble in Little Nappies penned this very funny read: 10 Ways to Irritate a Pregnant Woman…
Labour really hurts you know – Err yes I was vaguely aware, thanks. It’s kind of common knowledge that the delivery of a whole human from my vagina or stomach is going to smart a bit.
In November we spent a bit of time with the strange creature that is the teenager. Madhouse Mum wrote about her experience of living with teenage girls…
They will not take off their school jumper, even in a heatwave.
They will not wear a coat, even in a monsoon. Unless it is a coat they have bought – which won’t keep the rain out anyway.
We went festive in December which included this rant about Christmas ads from the brilliant And Another 10 Things…
Do you know why I like the John Lewis advert? Because finally, finally a parent gets some recognition. All these people complaining that it spoils Christmas because Santa doesn’t bring the trampoline are missing the point. I’ve never seen the big man in the freezing back garden at 11pm with a hammer and allen key trying to build a sodding trampoline. Take the credit. You deserve it.
I’ll be back soon with another LOL Round-up. If you are after more funnies or have one yourself why not check out my Friday Frolics linky over on Life, Love and Dirty Dishes.
Happy New Year