2. Mark the date in your diary and vow you will pick something up well in advance.
3. Be reminded of World Book Day 2 days before by child who has extravagant ideas that involve precisely zero items of clothing already owned.
4. Suggest easy ideas such as Oliver Twist that child treats with disdain.
5. Along with child, go through every vaguely exotic piece of clothing in your drawers and wardrobe, offering ways to integrate into various costumes. When child scornfully dismisses them, secretly agree about their lameness.
6. Double check arrival date of fluffy onesie in last ditch attempt at easy option. Wish you had paid for faster delivery. After your child refuses to be calmed, cry a few tears of frustration. Notice positive change in child’s attitude at your efforts. Consider crying more often as tantrum defense.
7. The evening before, park several blocks from party shop and walk briskly to shop before it closes. Shout “Come on!” over your shoulder repeatedly to helpfully motivate your child to keep up.
8. Arrive at shop, see crowd of other parents and children and wonder just who these people are and why they’ve left it so late to get an outfit.
9. Race around aisles looking for hedgehog, dog or mouse outfit. Discover fuzzy bunny mask and rationalise that £16.50 isn’t that much to spend on mask. Wonder if husband would wear it for fancy dress. Try not to notice its similarities to rabbit in “Donnie Darko”.
10. Delight in your child’s enthusiasm on the morning and her apparent pride in wearing it into class. Try not to think of money that would have been saved with express shipping on onesie.
11. Pray onesie arrives before Red Nose Day.