Its a day many of us looked forward to for a long time – years trying to have children or going through Approval and awaiting that match. When your first Mother’s Day comes, for every mum, its a day of celebration and enjoyment. For Adopters, its no different – we want to be spoilt with breakfast in bed, glitter-shedding hand-made cards and squashed flowers presented in sticky little hands – however there is always other elements to Mother’s Day which we need to consider. Not least is the fact that we are not our children’s only Mother. And although we may have happiness on this day, she may have a day of sadness.
But it is the children who experience the biggest conflict of feelings. Not just on this day but any day, however it is amplified by the pressure, the adverts, the need to show ‘Mum’ how much you love her….Gem at Life with Katie has blogged about her thoughts on Mother’s Day, as has Fiona Ferguson at her blog and I am sure many other bloggers have thoughts on this and how the day went for them and their children.
I’ve recently found a great blog and organisation – ‘All Aboard the Trauma Train’ and Amanda Boorman has written more on the Mother theme with a very good question- Who mothers the mothers? A large part of being a parent, especially a new parent or an adoptive parent, is a need for support. Sometimes that support doesn’t need to be obvious, it can be silent and strong with help and an unspoken acknowledgment, other times open and honest. However support is offered, it’s vital for parents and one of the reasons that the government is being pressured to not just look at the approval process for adoption but also at Post Adoption Support (as offered by social services) to try and reduce the number of adoption placements that disrupt.
The Puffin Diaries has this month offered a guest post from Misbah who usually blogs at Foody Mama but who is also an adoptive parent. Misbah has written candidly about her instinct – her mother’s instinct and why she and her son needed support and how she had to fight for it for him. You can read her brave post at Gut Feelings .
Dr Spouse is a regular on the Twitter adoption circuit, being Mum to the very cute Baby Spouse (who I have not met but who is so obviously very cute!) and this month she has written about Baby Spouse being unwell and a thousand questions in Intermission. Glad to hear Baby Spouse is now on the road to recovery.
The Family of 5 is a new blog I have discovered from Clare, who has 3 daughters very close in age. She has blogged about an event that happened at school that gave her very real cause for concern and which revealed the unpredictability which she has to deal with. You can read about it here and like all the blogs I would recommend a good browse around her blog for some great posts.
Mumdrah has written beautifully – once again – about being in Crisis and what this means for her and CHT. Sezz at Dear Daughter, our adoption has also written very honestly about crisis for herself, how to heal and how to support and what this means. Sarah from the The Puffin Diaries has also blogged about the complexity of parenting that adopted child in- It’s like a Rubik cube
One of the few adoptive Dads to blog, The One Hand Man – Adoptive father expose the inside story 2 has cast a glance on his typical day as stay-at-home Dad in his new parenting adventures, this time about a trip to the park. I really like his blog and its fascinating to get an insight into someone else’s day. I wrote my own snapshot of a typical day lately too – brace yourself if you can manage to read it! 1,2,3….Go!
And finally, the New Pyjamas has a great post on Questions and preparations from her Preparation training. I studied the same thing and want to say thank you for posting this, its helpful to re-visit this learning especially now the children are here and re-focus on the importance of child development in adoption/LAC.
Enjoy the latest round-up of blog posts and please leave a link in a comment below if you wish to be included next month or find me on Twitter @MaryamLane to join the Twitter Adoption community, we would love to hear from you!
Have a great month.